are burning. I was
experienced, under the frankest exterior, in all the subtle arts of the
coquette. Men to me were a sort of musical instrument from which I could
evoke any harmony or cacophony I chose.

"What held the men I played with and rejected was my real gift for
good-fellowship, my loyalty in friendship, and some natural sweetness of
disposition. But such power makes a woman, particularly while young,
somewhat heartless and callous, and I was convinced that I had no
capacity for love myself; especially as I found all men rather
ridiculous. I met Otto Zattiany in Paris, where he was attached to the
Embassy of the Dual Empire. He was an impetuous wooer and very handsome.
I did not love him, but I was fascinated. Moreover, I was tired of
American men and American life. Diplomacy appealed to my ambition, my
love of power and intrigue. He was also a nobleman with great estates;
there could be no suspicion that he was influenced by my fortune. He
followed me back to New York, and although my parents were opposed to all
foreigners, I had my way; there was the usual wedding in Saint Thomas's,
and we sailed immediately for Europe.

"I hated him at once. I shall not go into the details of that marriage.
Fortunately he soon tired of me and returned to his mistresses. To him I
was the Galatea that no man could bring to life. But he was very proud
of me and keenly aware of my value as the wife of an ambitious
diplomatist. He treated me with courtesy, and concerned himself not at
all with my private life. He knew my pride, and believed that where he
had failed no man could succeed; in short, that I would never consider
divorce nor elopement, nor even run the risk of less public scandals.

"I was not unhappy. I was rid of him. I had a great position and there
was everything to distract my mind. I was not so interested in the inner
workings of diplomacy as I was later, but the comedy of jealousy and
intrigue in the diplomatic set was amusing from the first. I was very
beautiful, I entertained magnificently, I was called the best-dressed
woman in Paris, I was besieged by men--men who were a good deal more
difficult to manage than chivalrous Americans, particularly as I was now
married and the natural prey of the hunter. But it was several years
before I could think of men without a shudder, little as I permitted them
to suspect it. I learned to play the subtle and absorbing game of men
and women as it is p