For none I have while things are so;
I'm something--nothing, wise, or fool,
As suits the blood that haps to rule.
When CLEVELAND reigns I'm thought a wit
In giving words the funny hit;
And social glee and humorous song
Delight the fools that round me throng;
Till PORTER puts on the crown,
And hauls the CLEVELAND banner down.

Now all is calm, discreet, and wise,
Whate'er I do, whate'er devise;
What common sence and wisdom teach,
Directs my actions, forms my speech;
The wise and good around me stay,
And laughing dunces hie away.
But soon, alas, this happy vein
May for some other change again!
SEWELL perchance shall next bear rule:
I'm now a philosophic fool!
With JEFFERSON I correspond,
And sail with him, the stars beyond:
Each nerve and fibre of my brain,
To sense profound I nicely strain,
And thus uprise beyond the ken
Of common sence and common men.

Thus great am I, till SEWELL'S crown
About my ears comes tumbling down.
Wise fools may soar themselves above,
And dream in rapturous spheres they move;
But airy castles must recoil,
And such wild imagery spoil.

But who comes now? Alas! 'tis _Waters_,
Rushing and blustering to headquarters:
He knows nor manners nor decorum,
But elbows headlong to the forum;
Uncouth and odd, abrupt and bold,
Unteachable and uncontrolled,
Devoid of wisdom, sence, or wit,
Not one thing right he ever hit,
Unless, by accident, not skill,
He blundered right against his will.

And such am I! no transmigration
Can sink me to a lower station:
Come, PORTER, come depose the clown,
And, once for all, possess the crown.
If aught, in SEWELL'S blood, you find
Will make your own still more refined;
If found in CLEVELAND'S blood, a trait
To aid you in affairs of state;
Select such parts--and spurn the rest,
No more to rule in brain or breast.
Of WATERS' blood expel the whole,
Let not one drop pollute my soul:
Then rule my head--and keep my heart
From folly, weakness, wit apart:
With all such gifts I glad dispense,
But only leave me--COMMON SENSE.

As a wit, Mr. Cleveland's reputation has been immortalized by a few
sentences that are frequently quoted, and which the writer furnished to
the Editor's Drawer, _Harper's Monthly Magazine_, August, 1885. Mr.
Cleveland was a Federalist of the school of Jay and Hamilton, whom he
supported with more than ordinary