red, for
I've wed a dumpy lass
I much despised in days of yore,
Of quite the plainest class,
Because each maiden of my dream,
Whose favor I did seek,
Was so opposed unto my scheme
I married Jane in pique.

_MAID OF CULTURE_

MAID of culture, ere we part,
Since we've talked of letters, art,
Science, faith, and hypnotism,
And 'most every other ism,
When you wrote, a while ago,
=Zoe mou, sas agapo,=

Let me tell you this, my dear:
Though your lettering was clear,
Though the ancient sages Greek
Would be glad to hear you speak,
They would be replete with woe
At your =mou, sas agapo=.

For, dear maiden most astute,
You have placed the mark acute
O'er omega. Take your specs.
See? It should be circumflex.
Still I love you, even though
You have written =agapo=.

_NOT PERFECT_

HER eyes are blue--a lovely hue
For eyes; her cheeks are pink,
And for the cheek, 'twixt me and you,
That color's right, I think.

Her fingers taper prettily,
Her teeth are white as pearls--
Her hands seem softer far to me
Than any other girl's.

Her figure's trim--it is petite--
I like them just that way,
And truly, maiden half so sweet
You'd not find every day.

And yet, alas! she's not my choice,
This creature of my rhyme--
Because her soft and rich-toned voice
Is going all the time.

_A CITY DWELLER'S WISH_

I LOVE the leaf of the old oak-tree,
I love the gum of the spruce,
I love the bark of the hickory,
And I love the maple's juice.

On the walnut's grain I fondly dote,
On the cherry's fruit I'd dine,
And I love to lie in a narrow boat,
And scent the odor of pine.

Ah, me! how I wish some power grand
Would invent some single tree
With all these points well developed, and
Would send that tree to me!

I'd plant it deep in the jardiniere
That stands in this flat of mine;
I'd give it the sweetest, tenderest care,
And water its roots with wine.

_WHERE ARE THEY?_

WHAT has become of the cast-off coats
That covered Will Shakespeare's back?
What has become of the old row-boats
Of Kidd and his pirate pack?

Where are the scarfs that Lord Byron wore?
Where are poor Shelley's cuffs?
What has become of that wondrous store
Of Queen Elizabeth's ruffs?

Where are the slippers of Ferdinand?
Where are M