many children did you say you had?'

"'Eight,' says he, clearin' his throat proud and haughty like.

"'You're lyin',' says I, 'an' you know you're lyin'. You allers told me
you had three.'

"'I was speakin' of those by my first wife,' says he. 'My other wives all
left one apiece. Ain't I never told you about 'em? I thought I had,' he
went on, speakin' quick, 'but if I haven't, it 's because your beauty has
made me forget all the pain an' sorrer of the past.'

"With that he clicked to the horses so sudden that I was near threw out of
the rig, but it wasn't half so bad as the other jolt he'd just give me.
For a long time I didn't say nothin', an' there's nothin' that makes a man
so uneasy as a woman that don't say nothin', my dear, so you just write
that down in your little book, an' remember it. It'll come in handy long
before you're through with your first marriage an' have begun on your
second. Havin' been through four, I was well skilled in keepin' my mouth
shut, an' I never said a word till we drove into the yard of the most
disconsolate-lookin' premises I ever seen since I was took to the
poorhouse on a visit.

"'James,' says I, cool but firm, 'is this your magnificent residence?'

"'It is,' says he, very soft, 'an' it is here that I welcome my bride.
Have you ever seen anythin' like this view?'

"'No,' says I, 'I never have'; an' it was gospel truth I was speakin',
too, for never before had I been to a place where the pigsty was in
front.

"'It is a wonderful view,' says I, sarcastic like, 'but before I linger to
admire it more, I would love to look upon the scenery inside the house.'

"When we went in, I thought I was either dreamin' or had got to Bedlam.
The seven youngest children was raisin' particular Cain, an' the oldest, a
pretty little girl of thirteen, was doin' her best to quiet 'em. There was
six others besides what had been accounted for, but I soon found that they
belonged to a neighbour, an' was just visitin' to relieve the monotony.

"The woman James had left takin' care of 'em had been gone two weeks an'
more, with a month's wages still comin' to her, which James never felt
called on to pay, on account of her havin' left without notice. James was
dretful thrifty. The youngest one was puttin' the cat into the
water-pitcher, an' as soon as I found out what his name was, I called him
sharp by it an' told him to quit. He put his tongue out at me as sassy as
you please, an' says: 'I won't.'