onderfully delicate, tortuous and extended
passage-way of waste material, civilized man knows no better than to
put in at the top of the house, purgatives, cathartics, bile-bouncers,
etc., with one hope and purpose in view, namely, that these policemen
go searching, scouring and hustling the intestines in the greatest
possible haste, in order to remove an obstruction about three hundred
inches distant from where these "forcers" had entered the intestinal
sewer. With mercury as a scavenger the work is pretty thoroughly done,
though extra care has to be taken that some of the teeth may remain
after the victim survives the additional intestinal inflammation
occasioned by its drastic measures.

Traits acquired by the father are inherited by the children;
present-day doctors follow early practitioners; they still pour in many
and various decoctions at the top of the obstructed sewer of the human
house to dislodge accumulated gases and feces at the bottom. The
plumber treats the sewer of the house of brick and stone more wisely.

Our fathers partook of laxatives, cathartics, purgatives, and in
consequence we start in life with teeth, intestines, appendices, out of
gear and nervous systems on edge. With unconscious stupidity we
continue the fatuous practice. The monarch selected to preside over the
functions of human life was the Liver; and it is only with bated breath
that any doctor dares question the legitimacy of that monarch's claim.
The loyal subjects of King Liver are ever ready to call out "quack,"
"charlatan," etc., to those who dare repudiate the sovereignty of the
Liver.

So much attention and flirtation does the liver receive from the
_liver-persuaders_ that the pancreas ought to be very jealous. The
pancreas excretes quite as much fluid into the duodenum as its larger
neighbor, and is, therefore, no mean organ. And we need not wonder
should we find the intestinal glands piqued at our over-attention to
the liver, as they, in their work at the metamorphosis of digested food
into blood, excrete two or three gallons of fluid in a day to the
liver's two or three pints; yet witness our medieval solicitude for the
liver, for one among many organs. The liver is located near the upper
portion of the intestinal canal and connected by a tube (the bile duct)
to the rest of the excursion route. The following liver-persuading
knights-errant are prescribed and ordered by disciples of Hippocrates,
Galen, Herodicus, and Iccus,