but decided upon by the man and the woman in the form of a
registered contract before the relationship was entered upon, then there
would everywhere be women ready to undertake such unions gladly, there
would, indeed, be many women, as well as men, who, for the reasons I
have shown, would prefer them to marriage.
There is (I must again insist upon this), whether we like it or not, a
new kind of woman about, who is to snatch from life the freedom that men
have had, and to do this, she knows, if she thinks at all, that she must
keep marriage at bay. For marriage binds the woman while it frees the
man, and this injustice--if so you like to term it--is dependent on
something fundamental; something that will not be changed by endowment
of motherhood, an equal moral standard in the marriage laws, or any of
the modern patent medicines for giving health to marriage and liberty to
wives. There is an inescapable difference in the results of marriage on
the two partners. I mean, marriage holds the woman bound through her
emotions, while it liberates the man through what he receives from her.
The woman gains her greatest liberation only from the child, but again
that holds her bound. Perhaps this is the way nature will not let women
get away from their service to life.
Sometimes there is the necessity of purifying by loss. I do not believe
in changing the ideal of marriage so that its duties are less binding on
women, already we have gone too far in that direction. Thus, I think it
better to make provision for other partnerships to meet the sex-needs
(for we can cause nothing but evil by failing to meet them) of those
women who, desiring the same freedom as the man, would delegate the
duties of wife and mother to the odd moments of life, and choose to
pursue work or pleasure unvexed and unimpeded by the home duties and
care of children. Marriage also is a trust; we are the trustees to the
future for the most sacred institution of life.
VIII
A society parched for honesty cannot suffer the ignominious and chaotic
conditions of our sexual lives to go on as they have been lately among
us, for it is plain to me that our moral code--that marriage itself
cannot stand, and, indeed, is not standing, the strain of our
dishonesties. Our social life is worm-eaten and crumbling into
rottenness with secret and scandalous hidden relationships; these dark
and musty by-ways and corners of sexual conduct want to be
spring-cleaned and made
|