So much for Mr.
Vincent. Now Miss ---'s turn comes to swallow the black bolus,
called a friend's advice. Say to her: "Is the man a fool? is he a
knave? a humbug, a hypocrite, a ninny, a noodle? If he is any or all
of these, of course there is no sense in trifling with him. Cut him
short at once--blast his hopes with lightning rapidity and keenness.
Is he something better than this? has he at least common sense, a
good disposition, a manageable temper? Then consider the matter."
Say further: "You feel a disgust towards him now--an utter
repugnance. Very likely, but be so good as to remember you don't
know him; you have only had three or four days' acquaintance with
him. Longer and closer intimacy might reconcile you to a wonderful
extent. And now I'll tell you a word of truth, at which you may be
offended or not as you like." Say to her: "From what I know of your
character, and I think I know it pretty well, I should say you will
never love before marriage. After that ceremony is over, and after
you have had some months to settle down, and to get accustomed to the
creature you have taken for your worse half, you will probably make a
most affectionate and happy wife; even if the individual should not
prove all you could wish, you will be indulgent towards his little
follies and foibles, and will not feel much annoyance at them. This
will especially be the case if he should have sense sufficient to
allow you to guide him in important matters." Say also: "I hope you
will not have the romantic folly to wait for what the French call
'une grande passion.' My good girl, 'une grande passion' is 'une
grande folie.' Mediocrity in all things is wisdom; mediocrity in the
sensations is superlative wisdom." Say to her: "When you are as old
as I am (I am sixty at least, being your grandmother), you will find
that the majority of those worldly precepts, whose seeming coldness
shocks and repels us in youth, are founded in wisdom."

'No girl should fall in love till the offer is actually made. This
maxim is just. I will even extend and confirm it: No young lady
should fall in love till the offer has been made, accepted, the
marriage ceremony performed, and the first half-year of wedded life
has passed away. A woman may then begin to love, but with great
precaution, very coolly, very