I don't mean exac'ly that--it's _one_ o' the things he
don't have much to say about. But once in a while he'll talk about the
boy, what he'd be now if he'd lived, an' so on; an' he's the greatest
hand fer childern--everlastin'ly pickin' on 'em up when he's ridin' and
such as that--an' I seen him once when we was travelin' on the cars go
an' take a squawlin' baby away f'm it's mother, who looked ready to
drop, an' lay it across that big chest of his, an' the little thing
never gave a whimper after he got it into his arms--jest went right off
to sleep. No," said Mrs. Bixbee, "I never had no childern, an' I don't
know but what I was glad of it at the time; Jim Bixbee was about as
much baby as I thought I could manage, but now--"

There was some reason for not concluding the sentence, and so we do not
know what was in her mind.

CHAPTER XXXI.

The year that had passed had seemed a very long one to John, but as the
months came and went he had in a measure adjusted himself to the change
in his fortunes and environment; and so as time went on the poignancy of
his sorrow and regret diminished, as it does with all of us. Yet the
sight of a gray-haired man still brought a pang to his heart, and there
were times of yearning longing to recall every line of the face, every
detail of the dress, the voice, the words, of the girl who had been so
dear to him, and who had gone out of his life as irrevocably, it seemed
to him, as if by death itself. It may be strange, but it is true that
for a very long time it never occurred to him that he might communicate
with her by mailing a letter to her New York address to be forwarded,
and when the thought came to him the impulse to act upon it was very
strong, but he did not do so. Perhaps he would have written had he been
less in love with her, but also there was mingled with that sentiment
something of bitterness which, though he could not quite explain or
justify it, did exist. Then, too, he said to himself, "Of what avail
would it be? Only to keep alive a longing for the impossible." No, he
would forget it all. Men had died and worms had eaten them, but not for
love. Many men lived all their lives without it and got on very well
too, he was aware. Perhaps some day, when he had become thoroughly
affiliated and localized, he would wed a village maiden, and rear a
Freeland County brood. Our friend, as may be seen, had a pretty healthy
mind, and we need not sympathize with him to the d