gossip of the
workroom, the whispered scandal, the mind soiled by all the filth that is
talked; they mean lost chastity, foolish chatter, all the wretchedness of
their everyday life, all the narrowness of ideas which belongs to women
of the lower orders, combined to their fullest extent in the girl whose
fingers bear the sacred marks of toil.
"Then we looked into each other's eyes for a long while. Oh! what power a
woman's eye has! How it agitates us, how it invades our very being, takes
possession of us, and dominates us! How profound it seems, how full of
infinite promises! People call that looking into each other's souls! Oh!
monsieur, what humbug! If we could see into each other's souls, we should
be more careful of what we did. However, I was captivated and was crazy
about her and tried to take her into my arms, but she said: 'Paws off!'.
Then I knelt down and opened my heart to her and poured out all the
affection that was suffocating me. She seemed surprised at my change of
manner and gave me a sidelong glance, as if to say, 'Ah! so that is the
way women make a fool of you, old fellow! Very well, we will see.'
"In love, monsieur, we are always novices, and women artful dealers.
"No doubt I could have had her, and I saw my own stupidity later, but
what I wanted was not a woman's person, it was love, it was the ideal. I
was sentimental, when I ought to have been using my time to a better
purpose.
"As soon as she had had enough of my declarations of affection, she got
up, and we returned to Saint-Cloud, and I did not leave her until we got
to Paris; but she had looked so sad as we were returning, that at last I
asked her what was the matter. 'I am thinking,' she replied, 'that this
has been one of those days of which we have but few in life.' My heart
beat so that it felt as if it would break my ribs.
"I saw her on the following Sunday, and the next Sunday, and every
Sunday. I took her to Bougival, Saint-Germain, Maisons-Lafitte, Poissy;
to every suburban resort of lovers.
"The little jade, in turn, pretended to love me, until, at last, I
altogether lost my head, and three months later I married her.
"What can you expect, monsieur, when a man is a clerk, living alone,
without any relations, or any one to advise him? One says to one's self:
'How sweet life would be with a wife!'
"And so one gets married and she calls you names from morning till night,
understands nothing, knows nothing, chatters cont
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