p; but instead of
this she sat smoking her pipe apparently at ease and unmoved. Now I found
I had been mistaken--what was I to do, to hang or kill myself was the last
thing I meant to do--in fact I had not the courage to do it for five
hundred Marys. But now, after mounting the stool and adjusting the rope
round my neck, I was positively ashamed to come down without hanging
myself, and then I stood like a fool. At this moment in came the dog
carlow, racing after the cat, right across the kitchen floor, and the dog
coming in contact with the stool, knocked it right away from under my
feet, and brought my neck suddenly to the full length of the rope, which
barely allowed my toes to touch the floor. Here I seized the rope with
both hands to keep the weight of my whole body off my neck, and in this
situation I soon found I must hang, and that dead enough, unless I had
some assistance, for the stool had rolled entirely out of the reach of my
feet, and the knot I had tied behind the beam I could not reach for my
life. My arms began to tremble with holding on to the rope, and still my
mortification and pride for some time refused to let me call on Mary for
assistance. Such a moment of terror and suspense! heaven forbid that I
should ever see or experience again. Thoughts rushed into my mind of every
bad deed that I had done in my life; and I thought that old cloven foot,
as we called the devil, was waiting to nab me. The stretch upon my arms
exhausted me, with holding on by the rope, nothing was left me but
despair; my pride and courage gave up the ghost, and I roared out, Mary!
for God's sake cut the rope! No, answered Mary, you went up there to hang
yourself, so now hang on. Oh! Mary, Mary! I did not mean to hang! I was
only doing so to see what you would say. Well, then, said Mary; you hear
what I have to say--hang on. Oh, Mary! for heaven's sake cut this rope, or
I shall strangle to death!--oh, dear, good Mary, save me this time: and I
roared out like a jackass, and must too have fainted, for when I came
round Doctor Tillotson and his wife and Mary stood over me as I lay on the
floor. How I got upon the floor, or who cut the rope I never knew. Doctor
Tillotson had hold of my wrist, feeling my pulse; while mistress held a
camphor bottle in one hand and a bottle of hartshorn in the other. The
doctor helped me up from the floor and set me in a chair, when I
discovered that I was bleeding very freely from the nose and mouth. He