know.

"Because what I'm wondering," the left-hand neighbor continued, "is why
they've made that ass Wedderburn head of our table."

"Why, is he an ass?" Michael inquired.

"Frightful ass," continued the left-hand neighbor, whom Michael
perceived to be a small round-faced youth, very fair and very pink.
"Perfectly harmless, of course. Are you an Harrovian?"

Michael shook his head.

"I thought you were a cousin of my mother," said the left-hand neighbor.

Michael looked astonished.

"His name's Mackintosh. What's your name?"

Michael told him.

"My name's Lonsdale. I think we're on the same staircase--so's
Mackintosh. It's a pity he's an Harrovian, but I promised my mother I'd
look him up."

Then, after surveying the table, Lonsdale went on in a confidential
undertone:

"I don't mind telling you that the Etonians up here are a pretty poor
lot. There are two chaps from my house who are not so bad--in fact
rather good eggs--but the rest! Well, look at that ass Wedderburn. He's
typical."

"I think he looks rather a good sort," said Michael.

"My dear chap, he was absolutely barred. M' tutor used to like him, but
really--well--I don't mind telling you, he's really an aesthete."

With this shocked condemnation, Lonsdale turned to his other neighbor
and said in his jerky and somewhat mincing voice that was perfectly
audible to Michael:

"I say, Tommy, this man on my right isn't half bad. I don't know where
he comes from, His name's Fane."

"He's from St. James'."

"Where on earth's that?"

"London."

"Why, I thought it was a kind of charity school," said Lonsdale. Then he
turned to Michael again:

"I say, are you really from St. James'?"

Michael replied coldly that he was.

"I say, come and have coffee with me after hall. One or two O. E.'s are
coming in, but you won't mind?"

"Why, do you want to find out something about St. James'?" demanded
Michael, frowning.

"Oh, I say, don't be ratty. It's that ass Tommy. He always talks at the
top of his voice."

Lonsdale, as he spoke, looked so charmingly apologetic and displayed
such accomplished sang-froid that Michael forgave him immediately and
promised to come to coffee.

"Good egg!" Lonsdale exclaimed with the satisfaction of having smoothed
over an awkward place. "I say," he offered, "if you'd like to meet
Wedderburn, I'll ask him, too. He seems to have improved since he's been
up at the Varsity. Don't you think that fat man Wedderburn has