ished, discovering that such disreputable specimens of
humanity contrive to exist in this age. It is best, my dear sir, or
madam, you should remain ignorant of these evil persons. Let me not
trouble you with knowledge.

I am a philosopher, greeting alike the thunder and the sunshine with
frolic welcome. Only now and then, when all things do not fall exactly
as I wish them, when foolish, wicked people will persist in doing
foolish, wicked acts, affecting my comfort and happiness, I rage and
fret a goodish deal.

As Heine said of himself, I am knight, too, of the Holy Grail, valiant
for the Truth, reverent of all women, honouring all men, eager to yield
life to the service of my great Captain.

And next moment, I find myself in the enemy's lines, fighting under
the black banner. (It must be confusing to these opposing Generals, all
their soldiers being deserters from both armies.) What are women but
men's playthings! Shall there be no more cakes and ale for me because
thou art virtuous! What are men but hungry dogs, contending each against
each for a limited supply of bones! Do others lest thou be done. What is
the Truth but an unexploded lie!

I am a lover of all living things. You, my poor sister, struggling with
your heavy burden on your lonely way, I would kiss the tears from your
worn cheeks, lighten with my love the darkness around your feet. You, my
patient brother, breathing hard as round and round you tramp the
trodden path, like some poor half-blind gin-horse, stripes your only
encouragement, scanty store of dry chaff in your manger! I would jog
beside you, taking the strain a little from your aching shoulders; and
we would walk nodding, our heads side by side, and you, remembering,
should tell me of the fields where long ago you played, of the gallant
races that you ran and won. And you, little pinched brats, with
wondering eyes, looking from dirt-encrusted faces, I would take you in
my arms and tell you fairy stories. Into the sweet land of make-believe
we would wander, leaving the sad old world behind us for a time, and you
should be Princes and Princesses, and know Love.

But again, a selfish, greedy man comes often, and sits in my clothes. A
man who frets away his life, planning how to get more money--more food,
more clothes, more pleasures for himself; a man so busy thinking of the
many things he needs he has no time to dwell upon the needs of others.
He deems himself the centre of the universe. You w