ubted my new conceptions before; now I doubted them
profoundly. But I went on talking. It's the grim irony in the lives of
all politicians, writers, public teachers, that once the audience is at
their feet, a new loyalty has gripped them. It isn't their business to
admit doubt and imperfections. They have to go on talking. And I was
now so accustomed to Isabel's vivid interruptions, qualifications,
restatements, and confirmations....

Margaret and I dined together at home. She made me open out my political
projects to her. "I have been foolish," she said. "I want to help."

And by some excuse I have forgotten she made me come to her room. I
think it was some book I had to take her, some American book I had
brought back with me, and mentioned in our talk. I walked in with it,
and put it down on the table and turned to go.

"Husband!" she cried, and held out her slender arms to me. I was
compelled to go to her and kiss her, and she twined them softly about my
neck and drew me to her and kissed me. I disentangled them very gently,
and took each wrist and kissed it, and the backs of her hands.

"Good-night," I said. There came a little pause. "Good-night, Margaret,"
I repeated, and walked very deliberately and with a kind of sham
preoccupation to the door.

I did not look at her, but I could feel her standing, watching me. If I
had looked up, she would, I knew, have held out her arms to me....

At the very outset that secret, which was to touch no one but Isabel and
myself, had reached out to stab another human being.

7

The whole world had changed for Isabel and me; and we tried to pretend
that nothing had changed except a small matter between us. We believed
quite honestly at that time that it was possible to keep this thing
that had happened from any reaction at all, save perhaps through some
magically enhanced vigour in our work, upon the world about us! Seen in
retrospect, one can realise the absurdity of this belief; within a week
I realised it; but that does not alter the fact that we did believe as
much, and that people who are deeply in love and unable to marry will
continue to believe so to the very end of time. They will continue to
believe out of existence every consideration that separates them until
they have come together. Then they will count the cost, as we two had to
do.

I am telling a story, and not propounding theories in this book; and
chiefly I am telling of the ideas and influences a