Teresa Panza, giving her an account of
all that has happened me since I left her; I have it here in my bosom,
and there's nothing wanting but to put the address to it; I'd be glad if
your discretion would read it, for I think it runs in the governor style;
I mean the way governors ought to write."

"And who dictated it?" asked the duchess.

"Who should have dictated but myself, sinner as I am?" said Sancho.

"And did you write it yourself?" said the duchess.

"That I didn't," said Sancho; "for I can neither read nor write, though I
can sign my name."

"Let us see it," said the duchess, "for never fear but you display in it
the quality and quantity of your wit."

Sancho drew out an open letter from his bosom, and the duchess, taking
it, found it ran in this fashion:

SANCHO PANZA'S LETTER TO HIS WIFE, TERESA PANZA

If I was well whipped I went mounted like a gentleman; if I have got a
good government it is at the cost of a good whipping. Thou wilt not
understand this just now, my Teresa; by-and-by thou wilt know what it
means. I may tell thee, Teresa, I mean thee to go in a coach, for that is
a matter of importance, because every other way of going is going on
all-fours. Thou art a governor's wife; take care that nobody speaks evil
of thee behind thy back. I send thee here a green hunting suit that my
lady the duchess gave me; alter it so as to make a petticoat and bodice
for our daughter. Don Quixote, my master, if I am to believe what I hear
in these parts, is a madman of some sense, and a droll blockhead, and I
am no way behind him. We have been in the cave of Montesinos, and the
sage Merlin has laid hold of me for the disenchantment of Dulcinea del
Toboso, her that is called Aldonza Lorenzo over there. With three
thousand three hundred lashes, less five, that I'm to give myself, she
will be left as entirely disenchanted as the mother that bore her. Say
nothing of this to anyone; for, make thy affairs public, and some will
say they are white and others will say they are black. I shall leave this
in a few days for my government, to which I am going with a mighty great
desire to make money, for they tell me all new governors set out with the
same desire; I will feel the pulse of it and will let thee know if thou
art to come and live with me or not. Dapple is well and sends many
remembrances to thee; I am not going to leave him behind though they took
me away to be Grand Turk. My lady the duchess kisses thy han