of examining phrenologically the
interior of a young lady's head, we should find not only what--but how
completely--modern education has done for it. We will take any average
boarding-school Miss, and instead of turning her organs into
finger-organs, by merely passing our hands over the exterior bumps, we
take the liberty of breaking her head at once, and looking directly into
it.

We find _Constructiveness_ in a state of entanglement with the quantity
of crotchet and other fancy work in which it is completely bound up, for
want of some more useful matter for the employment of this valuable
quality; and on looking to the organ of _Imitation_, we see it exercised
on a parcel of the most ridiculous airs and affectations, to say nothing
of more dangerous qualities, set before it for the purpose of calling
into practice its powers of copying. As to _Number_, its whole capacity
seems to be concentrated on number one: and _Comparison_ is clogged up
with entire wardrobes, as if the only use of comparison to the female
mind was to be its application to the respective bonnets, dresses, and
articles of millinery worn by friends, enemies, or acquaintances.
_Causality_ shows us an instance of something like an appropriate
application of the organ; for it is intended to be one of inquiry, and
it is exercised certainly in a questionable manner, for it is constantly
directed, by the modern system of female education, to the asking, How
it is an "establishment" is to be gained? or, Why it is that one person
has succeeded in getting a husband before another? _Eventuality_ is
devoted to the cognizance of no more important events than Births,
Deaths, and Marriages; while _Form_, _Size_, and _Color_ are exercised
respectively on the noses, mustaches, and eyes of the other sex, the
organ of _Weight_ being brought to bear on the estimating of bankers'
balances. _Order_ goes wholesale to the dressmaker's; _Ideality_ knows
nothing of any ideal but a _beau_; and _Time_ and _Tune_ are clogged
with all sorts of airs, calling into operation _Destructiveness_, as far
as the keys of an instrument are concerned, and _Secretiveness_ as far
as any meaning is conveyed by the means of so much labor.

Having brought ourselves to the sad conclusion that the examination of a
fashionably-educated female head reveals nothing but faculties
mis-employed, and valuable material wasted on what is not material at
all, we can not but express a wish that Ladies' Pre