e you had better take care that
the kitchen produces what pleases him. On occasion he will assert his
authority with some violence and naivete. No one can be long amongst
Germans, or even read many German novels, without coming across
instances of what I mean. For example, there was once a quarrel
between lovers that all turned upon a second glass of champagne. The
girl did not want it, and the man insisted that she should drink it
whether she wanted it or not. What happened in the end is forgotten
and does not matter. It is the comment of the historian that remains
in the memory.

"Her family had spoilt her," said he. "When they are married and my
friend gets her to himself she will not behave so."

"But why should she drink a second glass of champagne if she did not
want it?" I asked.

"Because he commanded her to," said this Petruchio, beginning to
bristle at once; and he straightway told me another story about a man
who threw his lady-love's dog into a pond, not because the dog needed
a bath, but in assertion of his authority. The lady had wished to keep
her dog out of the water.

"Did she ever forgive the man?" said I.

"Forgive!--What was there to forgive? The man wished to put the dog
in the pond. A man must know how to enforce his will ... or he is no
man."

I nearly said "Lor!" like Mr. Tweddle in _The Tinted Venus_, but in
Germany it's a serious matter, a sort of _lese majeste_, to laugh at
the rightful rule of man. You must expect to see them waited on hand
and foot, and to take this service as a matter of course. I have known
Englishmen embarrassed by this state of affairs.

"They will get me chairs," complained one, "and at table the daughters
jump up and wait on me. It's horrid."

"Not at all," said I. "It's your due. You must behave as if you were
used to it."

"I can't. The other day I got the daughters of the house to sit still
while I handed about cups of tea, and if some of the old boys didn't
jump down their throats and tell them they'd no business to let me
forget my dignity. Bless my dignity ... if it's such a tender plant as
that...."

"Sh!" I said. "They must have been old-fashioned people. In some
houses young men hand cups."

"They look jolly self-conscious while they're doing it, ... as if they
didn't half like it. You bet, they take it out of their womenfolk when
they get home. Look at that chap Mueller!"

"Where is he?"

"In Dresden, where I lived last winter. He stormed t