n' whether he's dead
or alive, you'd better leave him a-be, an' her too."
In the sick man's room the time passed monotonously. There were days
and nights of heavy slumber or unconsciousness,--restless mutterings and
weary tossings to and fro. The face upon the pillow was sometimes white,
sometimes flushed with fever; but whatever change came to pass, Death
never seemed far away.
Grace lost appetite, and grew thin with protracted anxiety and watching.
He would not give up his place even to Anice or Mrs. Barholm, who spent
much of their time in the house. He would barely consent to snatch a few
minutes' rest in the day-time; in truth, he could not have slept if he
would. Joan held to her post unflinchingly. She took even less respite
than Grace. Having almost forced her to leave the room one morning,
Anice went downstairs to find her lying upon the sofa,--her hands
clasped under her head, her eyes wide open.
"I conna sleep yet a while," she said. "Dunnot let it trouble yo'. I'm
used to it."
Sometimes during the long night Joan felt his hollow eyes following her
as she moved about the room, and fixed hungrily upon her when she stood
near him.
"Who are you?" he would say. "I have seen you before, and I know your
face; but--but I have lost your name. Who are you?"
One night, as she stood upon the hearth, alone in the room,--Grace
having gone downstairs for something,--she was startled by the sound of
Derrick's voice falling with a singular distinctness upon the silence.
"Who is it that is standing there?" he said.
"Do I know you? Yes--it is-----" but before he could finish, the
momentary gleam of recognition had passed away, and he had wandered off
again into low, disjointed murmurings.
It was always of the mine, or one other anxiety, that he spoke. There
was something he must do or say,--some decision he must reach. Must he
give up? Could he give up? Perhaps he had better go away,--far away.
Yes; he had better go. No,--he could not,--he must wait and think again.
He was tired of thinking,--tired of reasoning and arguing with himself.
Let it go for a few minutes. Give him just an hour of rest. He was
full of pain; he was losing himself, somehow. And then, after a brief
silence, he would begin again and go the weary round once more.
"He has had a great deal of mental anxiety of late,--too much
responsibility," said the medical man; "and it is going rather against
him."
CHAPTER XXXVIII - Recognit
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