as of wont, seated upon the widow's
little fubsy sofa, with the lady by his side, and he had just taken her
hand and was about to renew his suit, to pour forth the impromptu
effusions of his heart, concocted on the quarter-deck of the Yungfrau,
when who should bolt into the parlour but the unwelcome Snarleyyow.

"O that nasty brute! Mynheer Vanslyperken, how dare you bring him into
my house?" cried the widow, jumping up from the sofa, with her
full-moon-face red with anger.

"Indeed, widow," replied Vanslyperken, "I left him on board, knowing
that you were not fond of animals; but some one has brought him on
shore. However, I'll find out who it was, and keel-haul him in honour
of your charms."

"I am fond of animals, Mr Vanslyperken, but I am not fond of such
animals as that--such a filthy, ugly, disagreeable, snarling brute; nor
can I think how you can keep him after what I have said about it. It
don't prove much regard, Mr Vanslyperken, when such a dog as that is
kept on purpose to annoy me."

"I assure you, widow--"

"Don't assure me. Mr Vanslyperken, there's no occasion--your dog is
your own--but I'll thank you to take him out of this house; and,
perhaps, as he won't go without you, you had better go with him."

Now the widow had never spoken so indignantly before: if the reader
wishes to know why she did so now we will acquaint him; the widow
Vandersloosh had perceived Smallbones, who sat like Patience on a
monument, upon the two half bags of biscuit before her porch. It was a
query to the widow whether they were to be a present, or an article to
be bargained for: it was, therefore, very advisable to pick a quarrel
that the matter might be cleared up. The widow's _ruse_ met with all
the success which it deserved. In the first place Mr Vanslyperken did
what he never would have believed himself capable of, but the wrath of
the widow had worked him also up to wrath, and he saluted Snarleyyow
with such a kick on the side, as to send him howling into the backyard,
followed him out, and, notwithstanding an attempt at defence on the part
of the dog, which the lieutenant's high boots rendered harmless,
Snarleyyow was fairly or unfairly, as you may please to think it, kicked
into an outhouse, the door shut, and the key turned upon him; after
which Mr Vanslyperken returned to the parlour, where he found the
widow, erect, with her back turned to the stove, blowing and bristling,
her bosom heaving, reminding you