r
it, and what was the consequence?--that he was not perceived when he
entered it, and the door of the parlour as well as the front door being
open to admit the air, for the widow and the corporal found that making
love in the dog days was rather warm work for people of their calibre--
to his mortification and rage the lieutenant beheld the corporal seated
in his berth, on the little fubsy sofa, with one arm round the widow's
waist, his other hand joined in hers, and, _proh pudor_! sucking at her
dewy lips like some huge carp under the water-lilies on a midsummer's
afternoon.

Mr Vanslyperken was transfixed--the parties were too busy with their
amorous interchange to perceive his presence: at last the corporal
thought that his lips required moistening with a little of the beer of
the widow's own brewing, for the honey of her lips had rather glued them
together--he turned towards the table to take up his tumbler, and he
beheld Mr Vanslyperken.

The corporal, for a moment, was equally transfixed; but on these
occasions people act mechanically because they don't know what to do.
The corporal had been well drilled; he rose from the sofa, held himself
perfectly upright, and raised the back of his right hand to his
forehead; there he stood like a statue, saluting at the presence of his
superior officer.

The widow had also perceived the presence of Vanslyperken almost as soon
as the corporal, but a woman's wits are more at their command on these
occasions than a man's. She felt that all concealment was now useless,
and she prepared for action. At the same time, although ready to
discharge a volley of abuse upon Vanslyperken, she paused, to ascertain
how she should proceed. Assuming an indifferent air, she said--"Well,
Mr Vanslyperken?"

"Well!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, but he could not speak for passion.

"Eaves-dropping, as usual, Mr Vanslyperken?"

"May the roof of this house drop on you, you infernal--!"

"No indelicate language, if you please, sir," interrupted the widow, "I
won't put up with it in my house, I can tell you.--Ho, ho, Mr
Vanslyperken," continued the widow, working herself into a rage, "that
won't do here, Mr Vanslyperken."

"Why, you audacious--you double-faced--"

"Double-faced!--it's a pity you wer'n't double-faced, as you call it,
with that snivelling nose and crooked chin of your's. Double-faced,
heh!--oh! oh! Mr Vanslyperken--we shall see--wait a little--we shall
see who's double-faced.