tting your
infinitives; but if you do, call on the Itinerant Tinker and _he'll_
straighten 'em out for you."

"Before we move along," he resumed, after he had loaded himself with his
merchandise, "perhaps you'd like to listen to a story?"

"I should, if it wasn't about split infinitives," replied Dickey,
doubtfully. "They really make me quite dizzy."

"Well, it's not," said the Itinerant Tinker, smiling vaguely. "It's the
story of the

PEDANTIC PEDAGOGUE

"I saw him sitting--sitting there,
Outside the school-house door,
It was a dismal afternoon;
The hour was half-past four.

"I asked him, 'Sir, what is your name?'
His voice came through the fog:
'I have forgotten it, kind sir,
But I'm a Pedagogue.

"'And I'm so absent-minded, sir,
I put my clothes to bed
And hang myself upon a chair;
Is not that odd?' he said.

"'And every morning of my life
I climb into my tub;
Then wonder why I'm sitting there.
Ah, me, man! _that's_ the rub!'

"He wiped his spectacles and said:
'Kind sir, observe this frog.
I took him in this net, when he
Was but a pollywog.

"'Now it's my wish, good sir, to seek
The seismocosmic state;
And why this strange amphibian
Should slowly gravitate

"'From a mere firmisternial thing
To--' 'Say!' I cried, 'please wait!
I can not understand a word
Of that which you relate.'

"'Now, please tell me,' he said again,
'The sum of the equation
Between the harp and hippogriff;
Define their true relation.'

"'I can not answer you,' I said,
'Because I'm but a tinker.
But I can mend your old umbrel';
'Twill be a dime, I think, sir.'

"Just then the frog dived off his hand
And swam out to the fence,
Which was an easy thing to do--
The vapor was so dense.

"And there he perched upon a post;
It was a sight to see
The way he made grimaces at
The Pedagogue and me.

"It vexed us very much to see
A frog so impolite
I flung a gnarly stick at him--
Flung it with all my might.

"It floated softly on the fog.
As softly as a feather;
The frog jumped on and sailed away,
Leaving us there together

"A-shaking both our fists at him
Till they were sore and numb.
The bull-frog merely blinked at us,
And sang: '_You'll