jacketful of carrion, if placed before
him, with as much _gout_ as if it were venison. He went home one night,
out of this, with the parson's outside coat and shovel hat upon him, and
did not return them for two days."

"Does this habit proceed from stupidity, papa?"

"Not at all; but from mere carelessness. The next two days he was out
with his laborers, and if a cow or pig chanced--(the villain! we'll hang
him to a certainty)--chanced, I say, to stray into the field, he would
shy the shovel hat at them, without remorse. Oh! we must have him, by
all means. But who next? Sir Jenkins Joram. Give him plenty to drink,
and he is satisfied."

"But what are his political principles, papa?"

"They are to be found in the bottle, Helen, which is the only creed,
political or religious, to which I ever knew him to be attached; and
I tell you, girl, that if every Protestant in Ireland were as deeply
devoted to his Church as he is to the bottle, we would soon be a happy
people, uncorrupted by treacherous scoundrels, who privately harbor
Papists and foster Popery itself. (The infernal scoundrel.)"

"But, papa," replied his daughter, with a melancholy smile, "I think I
know some persons, who, although very loud and vehement in their outcry
against Popery, have, nevertheless, on more than one or two occasions,
harbored Papists in their house, and concealed even priests, when the
minions of the law were in search of them."

"Yes, and it is of this cursed crew of hollow Protestants that I now
speak--ahem--ay--ha--well, what the devil--hem. To be sure I--I--I--but
it doesn't signify; we can't be wise at all times. But after all, Helen
(she has me there), after all, I say, there are some good Papists, and
some good--ahem--priests, too. There now, I've got it out. However,
Helen, those foolish days are gone, and we have nothing for it now but
to hunt Popery out of the country. But to proceed as to the dinner."

"I think Popery is suffering enough, sir, and more than enough."

"Ho, ho," he exclaimed with triumph, "here comes the next on my list--a
fine fellow, who will touch it up still more vigorously--I mean Captain
Smellpriest."

"I have heard of that inhuman man," replied Helen; "I wish you would
not ask him, papa. I am told he equals Sir Robert Whitecraft in both
cowardice and cruelty. Is not that a nickname he has got in consequence
of his activity in pursuit of the unfortunate priests?"

"It's a nickname he has given himsel