Don't want Santy Claus--ner things
Any kind he ever brings!--
Don't want A'nty!--Don't want Pa!--
I ist only want my Ma!

* * * * *

"OLD BOB WHITE"

Old Bob White's a funny bird!--
Funniest you ever heard!--
Hear him whistle,--"Old--Bob--_White_!"
You can hear him, clean from where
He's 'way 'crosst the wheat-field there,
Whistlin' like he didn't care--
"Old-Bob-_White_!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: WHEN WE DROVE TO HARMONY]

* * * * *

Whistles alluz ist the same--
So's we won't fergit his name!--
Hear him say it?--"Old--Bob--_White_!"
_There!_ he's whizzed off down the lane--
Gone back where his folks is stayin'--
Hear him?--There he goes again,--
"Old--Bob--_White_!"

When boys ever tries to git
Clos't to him--how quick he'll quit
Whistlin' his "Old-Bob--_White_!"
"_Whoo-rhoo-rhoo!_" he's up an' flew,
Ist a-purt'-nigh skeerin' you
Into fits!--'At's what he'll do.--
"Old-Bob--_White_!"

Wunst our Hired Man an' me,
When we drove to Harmony,
Saw one, whistlin' "Old--Bob--_White_!"
An' we drove _wite clos't_, an' I
Saw him an' he didn't fly,--
Birds likes horses, an' that's why.
"Old--Bob--_White_!"

One time, Uncle Sidney says,
Wunst he rob' a Bob White's nes'
Of the eggs of "Old Bob White";
Nen he hatched 'em wiv a hen
An' her little chicks, an' nen
They ist all flewed off again!
"Old--Bob--_White_!"

* * * * *

A SESSION WITH UNCLE SIDNEY

[1869]

I

ONE OF HIS ANIMAL STORIES

Now, Tudens, you sit on _this_ knee--and 'scuse
It having no side-saddle on;--and, Jeems,
You sit on _this_--and don't you wobble so
And chug my old shins with your coppertoes;--
And, all the rest of you, range round someway,--
Ride on the rockers and hang to the arms
Of our old-time splint-bottom carryall!--
Do anything but _squabble_ for a place,
Or push or shove or scrouge, or breathe _out loud_,
Or chew wet, or knead taffy in my beard!--
Do _any_thing almost--act _any_way,--
Only _keep still_, so I can hear myself
Trying to tell you "just one story more!"

One winter afternoon my father, with
A whistle to our dog, a shout to us--
His two boys--six and eight years old we were,--
Started off t