east one should _pretend_ to be looking for
something else. My glasses now. When I lose them I declare loudly I can't
find my cigar-case. That disheartens the glasses--they return at once.
MRS. BANKET. [_Reproachfully._] Don't be so irritating, Tom!
JUDGE. That's all very well, but how about me? I was asked here to dine.
I've dined--I'm not complaining about the dinner. But now the curtain's
up--and here am I watching half-a-dozen people looking very hard for a
thing that isn't there.
MRS. BANKET. Tom, Tom, it's those laughs you get in Court that make you so
fond of talking. Don't you see how you're vexing your sister?
MRS. WESTERN. Oh, I'm used to Tom. Harvey, I think you might be looking.
HARVEY. My dear, I've been turning round and round in this corner like a
bird in a cage.
MARTIN. [_Who all this time, like the other servants, has been crawling
around the different articles of furniture in the room, suddenly rises to
his feet and addresses his mistress firmly but respectfully._] It's not
here, madam.
[_The other servants also rise; and stand, each in their corner._
JUDGE. That, I imagine, is perfectly clear; and I congratulate the witness
on the manner in which he has given his evidence. [_He throws his
cigarette into the fire and steps forward._] Now, my dear Alice--
MRS. WESTERN. [_Sitting doggedly in the chair in front of the table and
proceeding to pull off her gloves._ I don't go without my bracelet.
JUDGE. Heaven forbid that I should speak slightingly of a gift of
Harvey's--but really it isn't of such priceless value.
MRS. WESTERN. That has nothing to do with it.
MRS. BANKET. Of course not. Oh, these men!
HARVEY. [_Stepping forward._] Tom's right. Let's go. Look here, I'll get
you another.
MRS. WESTERN. [_Drily._] Thanks--I want _that_ one.--Smithers, and you,
William, just look again in the hall.
SMITHERS. Yes, m'm.
MRS. WESTERN. And then help the chauffeur--turn out _everything_ in the
car.
SMITHERS. Yes, m'm.
MRS. WESTERN. Bring the rugs into the house, and shake them.
SMITHERS. Yes, m'm. [_She and_ WILLIAM _go._
JUDGE. [_Going hack to the fire._] Sumptuary laws--that's what we want. If
women didn't wear bracelets, they couldn't lose them.
MRS. WESTERN. Martin, William is honest, isn't he?
HARVEY. [_Protesting._] Oh, hang it, Alice!
MARTIN. Quite, madam--excellent character--a little flighty, but a most
respectable young man.
MRS. WESTERN. I've seen
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