kept waiting, because the actors had hid away
the breeches of Rosalind, and have known Hamlet stalk solemnly on to
deliver his soliloquy, with a dish-clout pinned to his skirts. Such are
the baleful consequences of a manager's getting a character for good
nature.

I was intolerably annoyed, too, by the great actors who came down
_starring_, as it is called, from London. Of all baneful influences,
keep me from that of a London star. A first-rate actress going the
rounds of the country theatres, is as bad as a blazing comet, whisking
about the heavens, and shaking fire, and plagues, and discords from its
tail.

The moment one of these "heavenly bodies" appeared on my horizon, I was
sure to be in hot water. My theatre was overrun by provincial dandies,
copper-washed counterfeits of Bond street loungers; who are always
proud to be in the train of an actress from town, and anxious to be
thought on exceeding good terms with her. It was really a relief to me
when some random young nobleman would come in pursuit of the bait, and
awe all this small fry to a distance. I have always felt myself more at
ease with a nobleman than with the dandy of a country town.

And then the injuries I suffered in my personal dignity and my
managerial authority from the visits of these great London actors. Sir,
I was no longer master of myself or my throne. I was hectored and
lectured in my own green-room, and made an absolute nincompoop on my
own stage. There is no tyrant so absolute and capricious as a London
star at a country theatre.

I dreaded the sight of all of them; and yet if I did not engage them, I
was sure of having the public clamorous against me. They drew full
houses, and appeared to be making my fortune; but they swallowed up all
the profits by their insatiable demands. They were absolute tape-worms
to my little theatre; the more it took in, the poorer it grew. They
were sure to leave me with an exhausted public, empty benches, and a
score or two of affronts to settle among the townsfolk, in consequence
of misunderstandings about the taking of places.

But the worst thing I had to undergo in my managerial career was
patronage. Oh, sir, of all things deliver me from the patronage of the
great people of a country town. It was my ruin. You must know that this
town, though small, was filled with feuds, and parties, and great
folks; being a busy little trading and manufacturing town. The mischief
was that their greatness was of a