ity!--But SHE must have mercy upon me first!--then will
she teach me a reliance for the sake of which her prayer for me will be
answered.

But hasten, hasten to me particulars of her health, of her employments,
of her conversation.

I am sick only of love! Oh! that I could have called her mine!--it would
then have been worth while to be sick!--to have sent for her down to me
from town; and to have had her, with healing in her dove-like wings,
flying to my comfort; her duty and her choice to pray for me, and to bid
me live for her sake!--O Jack! what an angel have I--

But I have not lost her!--I will not lose her! I am almost well; should
be quite well but for these prescribing rascals, who, to do credit to
their skill, will make the disease of importance.--And I will make her
mine!--and be sick again, to entitle myself to her dutiful tenderness,
and pious as well as personal concern!

God for ever bless her!--Hasten, hasten particulars of her!--I am sick
of love!--such generous goodness!--By all that's great and good, I will
not lose her!--so tell her!--She says, that she could not pity me, if she
thought of being mine! This, according to Miss Howe's transcriptions to
Charlotte.--But bid her hate me, and have me: and my behaviour to her
shall soon turn that hate to love! for, body and mind, I will be wholly
her's.

LETTER X

MR. BELFORD, TO ROBERT LOVELACE, ESQ.
THURSDAY, AUG. 17.

I am sincerely rejoiced to hear that thou art already so much amended, as
thy servant tells me thou art. Thy letter looks as if thy morals were
mending with thy health. This was a letter I could show, as I did, to
the lady.

She is very ill: (cursed letters received from her implacable family!) so
I could not have much conversation with her, in thy favour, upon it.--But
what passed will make thee more and more adore her.

She was very attentive to me, as I read it; and, when I had done, Poor
man! said she; what a letter is this! He had timely instances that my
temper was not ungenerous, if generosity could have obliged him! But his
remorse, and that for his own sake, is all the punishment I wish him.--
Yet I must be more reserved, if you write to him every thing I say!

I extolled her unbounded goodness--how could I help it, though to her
face!

No goodness in it! she said--it was a frame of mind she had endeavoured
after for her own sake. She suffered too much in want of mercy, not to
wish it to a penitent heart