, I'll encourage a young beginner
for once. Here, Andrew, [to her footman,] you want a pair of gloves,
don't you?

I took down a parcel of gloves, which Mrs. Smith pointed to, and came
round to the fellow to fit them on myself.

No matter for opening them, said I: thy fingers, friend, are as stiff as
drum-sticks. Push!--Thou'rt an awkward dog! I wonder such a pretty lady
will be followed by such a clumsy varlet.

The fellow had no strength for laughing: and Joseph was mightily pleased,
in hopes, I suppose, I would borrow a few of Andrew's teeth, to keep him
in countenance: and, father and mother Smith, like all the world, as the
jest was turned from themselves, seemed diverted with the humour.

The fellow said the gloves were too little.

Thrust, and be d----d to thee, said I: why, fellow, thou hast not the
strength of a cat.

Sir, Sir, said he, laughing, I shall hurt your Honour's side.

D----n thee, thrust I say.

He did; and burst out the sides of the glove.

Will. said I, where's thy pruning-knife? By my soul, friend, I had a
good mind to pare thy cursed paws. But come, here's a larger pair: try
them, when thou gettest home; and let thy sweetheart, if thou hast one,
mend the other, so take both.

The lady laughed at the humour; as did my fellow, and Mrs. Smith, and
Joseph: even John laughed, though he seemed by the force put upon his
countenance to be but half pleased with me neither.

Madam, said I, and stepped behind the compter, bowing over it, now I hope
you will buy something for yourself. Nobody shall use you better, nor
sell you cheaper.

Come, said she, give me six-penny worth of Portugal snuff.

They showed me where it was, and I served her; and said, when she would
have paid me, I took nothing at my opening.

If I treated her footman, she told me, I should not treat her.

Well, with all my heart, said I: 'tis not for us tradesmen to be saucy--
Is it, Mrs. Smith?

I put her sixpence in my pocket; and, seizing her hand, took notice to
her of the crowd that had gathered about the door, and besought her to
walk into the back-shop with me.

She struggled her hand out of mine, and would stay no longer.

So I bowed, and bid her kindly welcome, and thanked her, and hoped I
should have her custom another time.

She went away smiling; and Andrew after her; who made me a fine bow.

I began to be out of countenance at the crowd, which thickened apace; and
bid Will. order the chair to the