be too
much for me,) and this only to die in the country, I had rather the scene
were to shut up here. For here have I meditated the spot, and the
manner, and every thing, as well of the minutest as of the highest
consequence, that can attend the solemn moments. So, Doctor, tell me
truly, may I stay here, and be clear of any imputations of curtailing,
through wilfulness or impatiency, or through resentments which I hope I
am got above, a life that might otherwise be prolonged?--Tell me, Sir;
you are not talking to a coward in this respect; indeed you are not!--
Unaffectedly smiling.

The doctor, turning to me, was at a loss what to say, lifting up his eyes
only in admiration of her.

Never had any patient, said she, a more indulgent and more humane
physician. But since you are loth to answer my question directly, I will
put it in other words--You don't enjoin me to go into the air, Doctor, do
you?

I do not, Madam. Nor do I now visit you as a physician; but as a person
whose conversation I admire, and whose sufferings I condole. And, to
explain myself more directly, as to the occasion of this day's visit in
particular, I must tell you, Madam, that, understanding how much you
suffer by the displeasure of your friends; and having no doubt but that,
if they knew the way you are in, they would alter their conduct to you;
and believing it must cut them to the heart, when too late, they shall be
informed of every thing; I have resolved to apprize them by letter
(stranger as I am to their persons) how necessary it is for some of them
to attend you very speedily. For their sakes, Madam, let me press for
your approbation of this measure.

She paused; and at last said, This is kind, very kind, in you, Sir. But
I hope that you do not think me so perverse, and so obstinate, as to have
left till now any means unessayed which I thought likely to move my
friends in my favour. But now, Doctor, said she, I should be too much
disturbed at their grief, if they were any of them to come or to send to
me: and perhaps, if I found they still loved me, wish to live; and so
should quit unwillingly that life, which I am now really fond of
quitting, and hope to quit as becomes a person who has had such a
weaning-time as I have been favoured with.

I hope, Madam, said I, we are not so near as you apprehend to that
deplorable catastrophe you hint at with such an amazing presence of mind.
And therefore I presume to second the doctor's