h hands, he threw me
upon the bed. "If you think, Encolpius," he shrieked, "that you can
contrive to die before I do, you're wrong! I thought of suicide first.
I hunted for a sword in Ascyltos' house: I would have thrown myself from
a precipice if I had not found you! You know that Death is never far
from those who seek him, so take your turn and witness the spectacle you
wished to see!" So saying, he snatched a razor from Eumolpus' servant,
slashed his throat, once, twice, and fell down at our feet! I uttered a
loud cry, rushed to him as he fell, and sought the road to death by the
same steel; Giton, however, showed not the faintest trace of any wound,
nor was I conscious of feeling any pain. The razor, it turned out, was
untempered and dull and was used to imbue boy apprentices with the
confidence of the experienced barber. Hence it was in a sheath and, for
the reason given above, the servant was not alarmed when the blade was
snatched nor did Eumolpus break in upon this farcical death scene.

CHAPTER THE NINETY-FIFTH.

The landlord made his appearance with a part of our little supper, while
this lover's comedy was being enacted and, taking in the very disorderly
spectacle which we presented, lying there and wallowing as we were,
"Are you drunk," he demanded, "or are you runaway slaves, or both?
Who turned up that bed there? What's the meaning of all these sneaking
preparations? You didn't want to pay the room-rent, you didn't, by
Hercules, you didn't; you wanted to wait till night and run away into the
public streets, but that won't go here! This is no widow's joint, I'll
show you that; not yet it ain't! This place belongs to Marcus
Manicius!" "So you threaten, do you'?" yelled Eumolpus, giving the
fellow a resounding slap in the face. At this, the latter threw a small
earthenware pitcher, which had been emptied by the draughts of successive
guests, at Eumolpus' head, and cut open the forehead of his cursing
adversary: then he skipped out of the room. Infuriated at such an
insult, Eumolpus snatched up a wooden candlestick, ran in pursuit of his
retreating foeman, and avenged his broken head with a shower of blows.
The entire household crowded around, as did a number of drunken lodgers,
but I seized this opportunity of retaliating and locked Eumolpus out,
retorting his own trick upon the quarrelsome fellow, and found myself
without a rival, as it were, able to enjoy my room and my night's
pleas