do?
For these appalling bills must be paid, and the lessons go on; or his
journey was an ignominious failure. But he must live meantime. And how?
Bowed down with remorse for the folly of these months, he saw too late
whither he was drifting, and for hours paced up and down his pretty
rooms, floundering in a Slough of Despond, with no helping hand to pull
him out--at least he thought so till letters were brought in, and among
fresh bills lay one well-worn envelope with an American stamp in the
corner.

Ah, how welcome it was! how eagerly he read the long pages full of
affectionate wishes from all at home! For everyone had sent a line, and
as each familiar name appeared, his eyes grew dimmer and dimmer till, as
he read the last--'God bless my boy! Mother Bhaer'--he broke down; and
laying his head on his arms, blistered the paper with a rain of tears
that eased his heart and washed away the boyish sins that now lay so
heavy on his conscience.

'Dear people, how they love and trust me! And how bitterly they would
be disappointed if they knew what a fool I've been! I'll fiddle in the
streets again before I'll ask for help from them!' cried Nat, brushing
away the tears of which he was ashamed, although he felt the good they
had done.

Now he seemed to see more clearly what to do; for the helping hand had
been stretched across the sea, and Love, the dear Evangelist, had
lifted him out of the slough and shown him the narrow gate, beyond which
deliverance lay. When the letter had been reread, and one corner where
a daisy was painted, passionately kissed, Nat felt strong enough to face
the worst and conquer it. Every bill should be paid, every salable thing
of his own sold, these costly rooms given up; and once back with
thrifty Frau Tetzel, he would find work of some sort by which to support
himself, as many another student did. He must give up the new friends,
turn his back on the gay life, cease to be a butterfly, and take his
place among the grubs. It was the only honest thing to do, but very hard
for the poor fellow to crush his little vanities, renounce the delights
so dear to the young, own his folly, and step down from his pedestal to
be pitied, laughed at, and forgotten.

It took all Nat's pride and courage to do this, for his was a sensitive
nature; esteem was very precious to him, failure very bitter, and
nothing but the inborn contempt for meanness and deceit kept him from
asking help or trying to hide his need b