e ax almost immediately. The following
letter is closely related to those of the foregoing chapter, only that
this one was mailed--not once, but many times, in some form adapted to
the specific applicant. It does not matter to whom it was originally
written, the name would not be recognized.

*****

To Mrs. T. Concerning unearned credentials, etc.

HARTFORD, 1887.

MY DEAR MADAM,--It is an idea which many people have had, but it is of
no value. I have seen it tried out many and many a time. I have seen
a lady lecturer urged and urged upon the public in a lavishly
complimentary document signed by Longfellow, Whittier, Holmes and some
others of supreme celebrity, but--there was nothing in her and she
failed. If there had been any great merit in her she never would have
needed those men's help and (at her rather mature age,) would never have
consented to ask for it.

There is an unwritten law about human successes, and your sister must
bow to that law, she must submit to its requirements. In brief this law
is:

1. No occupation without an apprenticeship.

2. No pay to the apprentice.

This law stands right in the way of the subaltern who wants to be a
General before he has smelt powder; and it stands (and should stand) in
everybody's way who applies for pay or position before he has served
his apprenticeship and proved himself. Your sister's course is perfectly
plain. Let her enclose this letter to Maj. J. B. Pond, and offer to
lecture a year for $10 a week and her expenses, the contract to
be annullable by him at any time, after a month's notice, but not
annullable by her at all. The second year, he to have her services, if
he wants them, at a trifle under the best price offered her by anybody
else.

She can learn her trade in those two years, and then be entitled to
remuneration--but she can not learn it in any less time than that,
unless she is a human miracle.

Try it, and do not be afraid. It is the fair and right thing. If she
wins, she will win squarely and righteously, and never have to blush.

Truly yours,
S. L. CLEMENS.

Howells wrote, in February, offering to get a publisher to take the
Library of Humor off Mark Twain's hands. Howells had been paid
twenty-six hundred dollars for the work on it, and his conscience
hurt him when he re