?

JONATHAN

Why, he had red hair, and a little round plump face like mine, only not
altogether so handsome. His name was--Darby;--that was his baptizing
name; his other name I forgot. Oh! it was Wig--Wag--Wag-all,
Darby Wag-all,--pray, do you know him?--I should
like to take a sling with him, or a drap of cyder with a pepper-pod in
it, to make it warm and comfortable.

JENNY

I can't say I have that pleasure.

JONATHAN

I wish you did; he is a cute fellow. But there was one thing I didn't
like in that Mr. Darby; and that was, he was afraid of some of them
'ere shooting irons, such as your troopers wear on training days. Now,
I'm a true born Yankee American son of liberty, and I never was afraid
of a gun yet in all my life.

JENNY

Well, Mr. Jonathan, you were certainly at the play-house.

JONATHAN

I at the play-house!--Why didn't I see the play then?

JENNY

Why, the people you saw were players.

JONATHAN

Mercy on my soul! did I see the wicked players?-- Mayhap that 'ere
Darby that I liked so was the old serpent himself, and had his cloven
foot in his pocket. Why, I vow, now I come to think on't, the candles
seemed to burn blue, and I am sure where I sat it smelt tarnally of
brimstone.

JESSAMY

Well, Mr. Jonathan, from your account, which I confess is very
accurate, you must have been at the play-house.

JONATHAN

Why, I vow, I began to smell a rat. When I came away, I went to the
man for my money again; you want your money? says he; yes, says I; for
what? says he; why, says I, no man shall jocky me out of my money; I
paid my money to see sights, and the dogs a bit of a sight have I seen,
unless you call listening to people's private business a sight. Why,
says he, it is the School for Scandalization.--The School for
Scandalization!--Oh! ho! no wonder you New-York folks are so cute at
it, when you go to school to learn it; and so I jogged off.

JESSAMY

My dear Jenny, my master's business drags me from you; would to heaven
I knew no other servitude than to your charms.

JONATHAN

Well, but don't go; you won't leave me so--

JESSAMY

Excuse me.--Remember the cash. [Aside to him, and--Exit.]

JENNY

Mr. Jonathan, won't you please to sit down? Mr. Jessamy tells me you
wanted to have some conversation with me. [Having brought forward two
chairs, they sit.]

JONATHAN

Ma'am!--

JENNY

Sir!--

JONATHAN

Ma'am!--

JENNY