e the cause of anything
that fell short of perfection in this respect. When all the tins were
scoured, and the tables scrubbed snowy white, and everything that could
offend tucked out of sight in holes and corners, Dinah would dress
herself up in a smart dress, clean apron, and high, brilliant Madras
turban, and tell all marauding "young uns" to keep out of the kitchen,
for she was gwine to have things kept nice. Indeed, these periodic
seasons were often an inconvenience to the whole household; for Dinah
would contract such an immoderate attachment to her scoured tin, as
to insist upon it that it shouldn't be used again for any possible
purpose,--at least, till the ardor of the "clarin' up" period abated.

Miss Ophelia, in a few days, thoroughly reformed every department of the
house to a systematic pattern; but her labors in all departments that
depended on the cooperation of servants were like those of Sisyphus or
the Danaides. In despair, she one day appealed to St. Clare.

"There is no such thing as getting anything like a system in this
family!"

"To be sure, there isn't," said St. Clare.

"Such shiftless management, such waste, such confusion, I never saw!"

"I dare say you didn't."

"You would not take it so coolly, if you were housekeeper."

"My dear cousin, you may as well understand, once for all, that we
masters are divided into two classes, oppressors and oppressed. We who
are good-natured and hate severity make up our minds to a good deal of
inconvenience. If we _will keep_ a shambling, loose, untaught set in the
community, for our convenience, why, we must take the consequence. Some
rare cases I have seen, of persons, who, by a peculiar tact, can produce
order and system without severity; but I'm not one of them,--and so I
made up my mind, long ago, to let things go just as they do. I will not
have the poor devils thrashed and cut to pieces, and they know it,--and,
of course, they know the staff is in their own hands."

"But to have no time, no place, no order,--all going on in this
shiftless way!"

"My dear Vermont, you natives up by the North Pole set an extravagant
value on time! What on earth is the use of time to a fellow who has
twice as much of it as he knows what to do with? As to order and system,
where there is nothing to be done but to lounge on the sofa and read, an
hour sooner or later in breakfast or dinner isn't of much account. Now,
there's Dinah gets you a capital dinner,--soup,