quiet time
brought some sense of better things, else forgotten and unattainable,
into his mind. Of late, the neglected bed in the Temple Court had known
him more scantily than ever; and often when he had thrown himself upon
it no longer than a few minutes, he had got up again, and haunted that
neighbourhood.
On a day in August, when Mr. Stryver (after notifying to his jackal
that "he had thought better of that marrying matter") had carried his
delicacy into Devonshire, and when the sight and scent of flowers in the
City streets had some waifs of goodness in them for the worst, of health
for the sickliest, and of youth for the oldest, Sydney's feet still trod
those stones. From being irresolute and purposeless, his feet became
animated by an intention, and, in the working out of that intention,
they took him to the Doctor's door.
He was shown up-stairs, and found Lucie at her work, alone. She had
never been quite at her ease with him, and received him with some little
embarrassment as he seated himself near her table. But, looking up at
his face in the interchange of the first few common-places, she observed
a change in it.
"I fear you are not well, Mr. Carton!"
"No. But the life I lead, Miss Manette, is not conducive to health. What
is to be expected of, or by, such profligates?"
"Is it not--forgive me; I have begun the question on my lips--a pity to
live no better life?"
"God knows it is a shame!"
"Then why not change it?"
Looking gently at him again, she was surprised and saddened to see that
there were tears in his eyes. There were tears in his voice too, as he
answered:
"It is too late for that. I shall never be better than I am. I shall
sink lower, and be worse."
He leaned an elbow on her table, and covered his eyes with his hand. The
table trembled in the silence that followed.
She had never seen him softened, and was much distressed. He knew her to
be so, without looking at her, and said:
"Pray forgive me, Miss Manette. I break down before the knowledge of
what I want to say to you. Will you hear me?"
"If it will do you any good, Mr. Carton, if it would make you happier,
it would make me very glad!"
"God bless you for your sweet compassion!"
He unshaded his face after a little while, and spoke steadily.
"Don't be afraid to hear me. Don't shrink from anything I say. I am like
one who died young. All my life might have been."
"No, Mr. Carton. I am sure that the best part of i
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