the
only way to get her switched off from going back, cause she met some
stage manager the other day who offered her a job, so I rubbed it in; I
don't know whether I am right, but it worked with her all right. After a
while she sat down and talked sense, and I am sorry for her. She said
sort of pitiful, "Tom is in newspaper work, and I am alone nights and I
lay there alone a longing for something to be going on. I hate the dark
and the being alone. Why I never used to be alone. His people don't
look at my side of the question at all. They are not fair to me. I had
no idea when I married Tom that his people would not like me. Every one
always liked me. I had my picture in all the shop windows and people
always jollying and making me laugh.

"His people make me old. All the sun goes out of the room as soon as one
of them come into it. To have dinner with them is awful. I am afraid to
move at the table or ask for more bread. Every one is so polite and so
quiet. You can't laugh and if you should happen to put your elbow on the
table, it would be a tragedy. And I have lived that life two years, and
Tom blames me and looks hurt cause sometimes I want the old life. And,
Nan, I see you are with him and think I am wrong. But remember I am only
calling for my own. I can't help longing for it. I think it is my right
to laugh and to be gay _my_ way. I have tried to make myself over in
Tom's way, but I can't. God did not make me a New England woman. All I
want is the lights and the music and the laughter. I want to snuggle
down in a big chair and have somebody make me laugh, laugh, laugh, and
never be told it is bad form to laugh too loud. Everything I do is bad
form, and oh, Nan, I don't want to do anything wrong, I just want to
live."

Poor little devil, I am sorry for her, but she must stay where she is. I
am going to get hold of Tom some day and tell him to side step so much
family and take Mildred out more and give her a good time _her_ way.

But we had had an awful good time until we got to talking about the
baby, when she got scared and hurried home to see if anything had
happened to him. We had lunch together at Bustanoby's, and went to that
swell Castle Garden for tea. She treated cause it cost $2.50 per and
that was too rich for my blood. I danced with her and she looked awful
cunning, and I learnt her some new steps, altho' I never dance with
women, as I don't think it looks nice. One of the dancers who runs the
place