ertising. Nobody ever says I am Nan Lane, they just
say I am Kate Lane's sister. Then they look at me as if I was going to
take a bite out of them. That is why it is more comfortable for me to
keep with the old crowd, cause they don't throw a fit every time your
name is mentioned.

Oh, I am sure distracted. I've walked the floor nights till I wore a
path in the carpet. What with my hand aching and me wondering what in
the world I ought to do, I can't sleep. I go out in the afternoon and
lie down in the woods and if I knew something to pray to, I would sure
get right down on my knees and ask it to tell me which way to turn. I
have been in Mrs. Smith's room twice when they have what they call
family worship. It didn't seem to do me much good but I bowed my head as
I saw them do. Why, if they wanted to stand on their heads and meow like
cats, I would bark an accompaniment cause I like them so.

Mrs. Smith cries every time I speak of the dancing, but I can't live on
charity for the rest of my life and I am pestered to death for money.
When I was coming out of Kelley's the other day, I saw father and of
course, he give me a touch. He never shows up unless he wants something.
Oh, I hate him, Kate. When I saw his shifty old eyes I just turned sick.
Every time I see him I think of the kicks and the cuffs we kids got
whenever he come round, which, thank goodness, wasn't often. Do you
remember how happy we was when we went down to court and heard him get
that seven years' stretch? That was the finest present the judge could
give us, and when we got back to the room I remember we just hugged
each other and danced round and round and made up a song with the
chorus, "Pa's got seven years, we ain't glad, oh, no." You gave a party
that night, and we almost got pulled for being so noisy. I wonder what
mother was like. What kind of a woman she could have been to have seen
anything in him. You must be something like her, cause you stick to Jim
and you know what I think of _him_. I suppose being married to a man
does something to a woman because I know a lot of nice women that stick
to good-for-nothing bums because they are married to them. As for me, I
don't suppose I ever will be married cause none of the crowd I know now
for _mine_ and I don't have much chance to meet the Henry Van Dykes or
the John T. Wanamakers.

Well this ain't telling me what to do. What _will_ I do? I am near
crazy. Well--I can always go to bed, good night.