she _won't_ meet him! ... What about a fire? No! you
had a fire in the last book. Or a flood. Is there a river anywhere
handy that could flood them out?"

"There is not."

"Don't be so blighting. I'm trying to help. Could there be a lost
will? It's banal, I know, but what can you do? Everyone writes novels,
and there isn't a plot left. Even leprosy is overdone. Now if you'd
bring in a few chapters about the parlourmaid I'd write them for you.
That reminds me! I was forgetting to ask you something, and it's most
important. Parsons says there are two handkerchiefs short from the
laundry, and the man is coming for the money, and what will I say.
Martin! what _do I_ say? What does one say when the laundry is short?
Should I be angry? How angry? I don't care a dump about the old
things, but I'll pretend I do. Shall I tell him you've a cold, and have
only a dozen and can't do without them? Ought I to make him leave his
own? Just give me a hint, and I'll work it out. Could I demand
compensation? Happy thought! Are they insured?"

Martin laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Domesticities again. I'm off. I believe Katrine used to dock off
sixpences... Well! you will let the Raynors know that we can have the
house?"

"I'll ring up Cassandra, and ask her to drive round to talk over
details. Whenever I'm sorry that I married you, Martin, I'm glad again
because of Cassandra. I'm a real safety valve to Cassandra. The poor
dear soul had no one to grumble to before I came. A sympathetic woman
listener who is not above throwing in a curse on her own account is
absolutely necessary when one lives alone with a man. Now look at
you--"

Martin shut the door firmly behind him, and mounted the staircase two
steps at a time.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

MRS MALLISON SHOCKED.

Mrs Mallison possessed an insatiable curiosity. Its area, it is true,
covered but a few square miles of country, for everything that happened
outside Chumley was powerless to stir her to interest. Kingdoms might
rise, kingdoms might fall, science might evolve the most marvellous of
inventions, beneath a cataclysm of nature, whole provinces might be
wrecked--Mrs Mallison listened to the announcement as she sipped her
morning coffee, and murmured an automatic: "Dear! Dear! Tut! Tut!"
the while she continued to ponder why Mrs Gainsby was hurrying to the
early train wearing her best hat! Nothing that affected her neighbours
was too