ut old Dworken, he has done it.

"I take wit' me only some water, for I know de Martians dey not give
water. To trade, some miniature kerosene lamps. You know dey got no fuel
oil now, only atomics, but dese little lamps dey like for antiques, for
sentiment, because their great-grandfathers used dem.

"Well, I walk through Vlahas, and not stop. Too close by the capital.
Too much contact with men of odder planets. I walk also through Bhur and
Zamat. I come to a small place where dey never see foreigner. Name
Tasaaha. Oh, I tell you, ze men of ze odder planets do not know Mars.
How delightful, how unsboiled, are ze Martians, once you get away from
de people by tourists so sboiled! How wonderful, across the sands to go,
free as birds! The so friendly greetings of de Martian men. And de
Martian women! _Ah!_

"Well, in Tasaaha I go to t'eater. Such lovely girls! You shall see. But
I saw somet'ing else. That, my friend, you hardly believe!"

Dworken looked down at his empty glass and snorted gently. I took the
hint, although for myself I ordered the less lethal Martian _azdzani_. I
was already having difficulty believing parts of his narrative; it would
be interesting to see if the rest were any harder.

My companion continued. "They not only have de chorus, which you haf
seen on Earth, imported from Mars--and such a chorus! Such girls! But
they had somet'ing else."

"You recall your terrestrial history? Once your ancestors had performers
on the stage who did funny motions and said amusing remarks, de
spectators to make laugh. I t'ink you called it 'vaudeville.' Well, on
Mars they have also vaudeville!" He paused, and looked at me from under
half-shut eyelids, and grinned widely to show his reptilian teeth.

I wondered if he'd really found something new. I would even be willing
to pay for a glimpse of Martian vaudeville. I wondered if my Martian was
too rusty for me to understand jokes in the spoken lingo.

"They haf not only men and women telling jokes. They haf trained animals
acting funny!" Dworken went on.

This was too much. "I suppose the animals talked, too?" I said
sarcastically. "Do they speak Earth or Martian?"

He regarded me approvingly. "My friend, you catch on quick." He raised a
paw. "Now, don't at conclusions jump. Let me exblain. At first, I did
not believe it either.

"Dey sprang it with no warning. Onto de stage came a _tllooll_ (you know
him, I t'ink), and a _shiyooch'iid_. The _shiyooch'iid_ wa