s riding a
bicycle--I mean a monocle. One wheel. The _tllooll_ moved just as
awkward as he always does, and tried to ride a tandem four-wheeled
vehicle which had been especially for him made."

In spite of my resolve, I chuckled. The picture of a _tllooll_ trying to
ride a four-wheeled bicycle, pumping each of his eight three-jointed
legs up and down in turn, while maintaining his usual supercilious and
indifferent facial expression, was irresistibly funny.

"Wait!" said my friend, and again raised a paw. "You have as yet not'ing
heard. They make jokes at same time. De _shiyooch'iid_ asks de
_tllooll_, 'Who was dat _tlloolla_ I saw you wit' up the Canal?' and the
_tllooll_ replies, 'Dat was no _tlloolla_, dat was my _shicai_.'"

I doubled up, laughing. Unless you have visited Mars this may not strike
you as funny, but I collapsed into a heap. I put my head on the table
and wept with mirth.

It seemed like five minutes before I was able to speak. "Oh, no!"

"Yes, yes, I tell you. Yes!" insisted my friend. He even smiled himself.

* * * * *

If you don't know the social system of the Martians there is no point in
my trying to explain why the idea of a _tllooll's_ being out with that
neuter of neuters, a _shicai_, is so devastatingly funny. But that,
suddenly, was not quite the point.

_Did it happen?_ I had large doubts. Nobody had ever heard a _tllooll_
make any sort of a sound, and it was generally supposed that they had no
vocal chords. And no _shiyooch'iid_ (they somewhat resemble a big
groundhog, and live in burrows along the canals of Mars) had ever been
heard to make any noise except a high-pitched whistle when frightened.

"Now, just a minute, Dworken," I said.

"I know, my vriend. I know. You t'ink it is impossible. You t'ink the
talking is faked. So I t'ought too. But vait."

It seems Dworken had inquired among the audience as to who owned the
performing animals. The local Martians were not as impressed as he was
with the performance, but they guided him to the proprietor of the
trained animal act. He was a young Martian, hawk-nosed, with flashing
black eyes, dusky skin, and curly hair.

"So I say to him, dis Martian," Dworken continued, "'If your act on the
level is, I buy.' I had three small diamonds with," he explained.

"But de Martian was hard to deal wit'. First, he said he vould not sell
his so-valuable and so-beloved animals. De only talking animals on Mars,