a newspaper, playwriting by theory, French without a master. How
to succeed in literature and how not; both ways have been laid down for
the student. There is scarcely an art or a habit you cannot learn in
books. Etiquette, how to make up, stock-jobbing, acting, gardening, and
a host of intellectual pursuits, have their rules and regulations; but
the mysterious and delicate art of tipping as yet remains unexploited in
the social ethics of this much-taught generation. It is high time that
the proper method of giving tips should be defined, its laws codified,
its many possibilities of error guarded against, and some system set
forth whereby the tipper may give the greatest satisfaction to the
tipped at the most moderate, if not the least, outlay in current coin of
the realm. The art could be illustrated with many examples from the
earliest times. Pelagia's tip to Hypatia's father was the dancer's
cestus, which was jewelled with precious stones enough to stock the shop
of a Bond Street jeweller of our own time. According to the truthful
interpretation of the old English days which we find in the drama, the
most popular method of tipping was to present your gold in a long,
knitted purse, which you threw at the tippee's feet or slapped into the
palm of his hand; but this system seems to have lapsed; and no fresh
regulation has been established in the unwritten laws of the _douceur_,
which goes back even before the days when extravagant and unwilling tips
were often enforced with pincers, racks, and other imperative
inventions. Monte Cristo gave wonderful tips, and Monte Carlo is lavish
to this day. The genius that wrecked Panama has an open hand. Promoters
of London companies know how to be liberal. Not much art is required, I
believe, to distribute largess of this kind. Nor are certain classes of
American aldermen difficult to deal with. The art that should be made
most clear is how to pay your host's servants for your host's
hospitality; how to show your gratitude to a newspaper man without
hurting his _amour propre_; how to meet the requirements of the
middleman of life and labour without "giving yourself away"; how to tip
the parson when you are married; and, in this connection, one may remark
the consolation of dying; the tippee does not trouble you at your own
funeral.

* * * * *

[Sidenote: With reference to waiters, deans, and other public servants.]

The waiter at public dinners is