your work, that I demand
all of you. I know a woman can't ask that,--can't have it. But if you
would only give me--give the children just a little, if I could feel
that we meant something to you and that this other wasn't gradually
becoming everything, wasn't absorbing you more and more, killing the
best part of you. It's poisoning our marriage, it's poisoning all your
relationships."
In that appeal the real Maude, the Maude of the early days of our
marriage flashed forth again so vividly that I was taken aback. I
understood that she had had herself under control, had worn a mask--a
mask I had forced on her; and the revelation of the continued existence
of that other Maude was profoundly disturbing. Was it true, as she said,
that my absorption in the great game of modern business, in the modern
American philosophy it implied was poisoning my marriage? or was it
that my marriage had failed to satisfy and absorb me? I was touched--but
sentimentally touched: I felt that this was a situation that ought to
touch me; I didn't wish to face it, as usual: I couldn't acknowledge to
myself that anything was really wrong... I patted her on the shoulder, I
bent over and kissed her.
"A man in my position can't altogether choose just how busy he will be,"
I said smiling. "Matters are thrust upon me which I have to accept, and
I can't help thinking about some of them when I come home. But we'll go
off for a real vacation soon, Maude, to Europe--and take the children."
"Oh, I hope so," she said.
From this time on, as may be supposed, our intercourse with both the
Blackwoods began to grow less frequent, although Maude continued to see
a great deal of Lucia; and when we did dine in their company, or
they with us, it was quite noticeable that their former raillery was
suppressed. Even Tom had ceased to refer to me as the young Napoleon
of the Law: he clung to me, but he too kept silent on the subject of
business. Maude of course must have noticed this, must have sensed the
change of atmosphere, have known that the Blackwoods, at least, were
maintaining appearances for her sake. She did not speak to me of the
change, nor I to her; but when I thought of her silence, it was to
suspect that she was weighing the question which had led up to the
difference between Perry and me, and I had a suspicion that the fact
that I was her husband would not affect her ultimate decision. This
faculty of hers of thinking things out instead of accepti
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