l urge me to
stay, and therefore I beg you will soften this news to my mother. I am
unable to do anything for myself: how, then, should I be competent to
assist others? It will afflict her that I should have interrupted that
career which would have made me first a privy councillor, and then
minister, and that I should look behind me, in place of advancing. Argue
as you will, combine all the reasons which should have induced me
to remain, I am going: that is sufficient. But, that you may not be
ignorant of my destination, I may mention that the Prince of--is here.
He is much pleased with my company; and, having heard of my intention
to resign, he has invited me to his country house, to pass the spring
months with him. I shall be left completely my own master; and, as we
agree on all subjects but one, I shall try my fortune, and accompany
him.

APRIL 19.

Thanks for both your letters. I delayed my reply, and withheld this
letter, till I should obtain an answer from the court. I feared my
mother might apply to the minister to defeat my purpose. But my request
is granted, my resignation is accepted. I shall not recount with what
reluctance it was accorded, nor relate what the minister has written:
you would only renew your lamentations. The crown prince has sent me
a present of five and twenty ducats; and, indeed, such goodness has
affected me to tears. For this reason I shall not require from my mother
the money for which I lately applied.

MAY 5.

I leave this place to-morrow; and, as my native place is only six miles
from the high road, I intend to visit it once more, and recall the happy
dreams of my childhood. I shall enter at the same gate through which
I came with my mother, when, after my father's death, she left that
delightful retreat to immure herself in your melancholy town. Adieu, my
dear friend: you shall hear of my future career.

MAY 9.

I have paid my visit to my native place with all the devotion of a
pilgrim, and have experienced many unexpected emotions. Near the great
elm tree, which is a quarter of a league from the village, I got out of
the carriage, and sent it on before, that alone, and on foot, I might
enjoy vividly and heartily all the pleasure of my recollections. I stood
there under that same elm which was formerly the term and object of my
walks. How things have since changed! Then, in happy ignorance, I sighed
for a world I did not know, where I hoped to find every pleasure and
enjoym