to punish me. His
only desire was to arouse me; to lead me to self-consciousness; to the
knowledge which, teaching us to become different from what we are,
saves us.

* * * * *

I understand the inscription in my father's library:--"When I am alone,
then am I least alone."

Yes; when alone, one can more perfectly lose himself in the life
universal. I have lived and have come to know the truth. I can now die.

* * * * *

He who is at one with himself, possesses all....

I believe that I know what I have done. I have no compassion for myself.
This is my full confession.

I have sinned--not against nature, but against the world's rules. Is
that sin? Look at the tall pines in yonder forest. The higher the tree
grows, the more do the lower branches die away; and thus the tree in the
thick forest is protected and sheltered by its fellows, but can
nevertheless not perfect itself in all directions.

I desired to lead a full and complete life and yet to be in the forest,
to be in the world and yet in society. But he who means to live thus,
must remain in solitude. As soon as we become members of society, we
cease to be mere creatures of nature. Nature and morality have equal
rights, and must form a compact with each other; and where there are two
powers with equal rights, there must be mutual concessions.

Herein lies my sin.

_He who desires to live a life of nature alone, must withdraw himself
from the protection of morality. I did not fully desire either the one
or the other; hence I was crushed and shattered_.

My father's last action was right. He avenged the moral law, which is
just as human as the law of nature. The animal world knows neither
father nor mother, so soon as the young is able to take care of itself.
The human world does know them and must hold them sacred.

I see it all quite clearly. My sufferings and my expiation are deserved.
I was a thief! I stole the highest treasures of all: confidence, love,
honor, respect, splendor.

How noble and exalted the tender souls appear to themselves when a poor
rogue is sent to jail for having committed a theft! But what are all
possessions which can be carried away, when compared with those that are
intangible!

Those who are summoned to the bar of justice are not always the basest
of mankind.

I acknowledge my sin, and my repentance is sincere.

My fatal sin, the sin for which I now atone,