n's eye with which he is thoroughly displeased.

I ordered Dorcas, on putting the last billet under the door, and finding
it taken up, to tell her, that I hoped an answer to it before I went out.

Her reply was verbal, tell him that I care not whither he goes, nor what
he does.--And this, re-urged by Dorcas, was all she had to say to me.

I looked through the key-hole at my going by her door, and saw her on her
knees, at her bed's feet, her head and bosom on the bed, her arms
extended; [sweet creature how I adore her!] and in an agony she seemed to
be, sobbing, as I heard at that distance, as if her heart would break.--
By my soul, Jack, I am a pityful fellow! Recollection is my enemy!--
Divine excellence!--Happy with her for so many days together! Now so
unhappy!--And for what?--But she is purity herself. And why, after all,
should I thus torment--but I must not trust myself with myself, in the
humour I am in.

***

Waiting here for Mowbray and Mallory, by whose aid I am to get the
license, I took papers out of my pocket, to divert myself; and thy last
popt officiously the first into my hand. I gave it the honour of a
re-perusal; and this revived the subject with me, with which I had
resolved not to trust myself.

I remember, that the dear creature, in her torn answer to my proposals,
says, condescension is not meanness. She better knows how to make this
out, than any mortal breathing. Condescension indeed implies dignity:
and dignity ever was there in her condescension. Yet such a dignity as
gave grace to the condescension; for there was no pride, no insult, no
apparent superiority, indicated by it.--This, Miss Howe confirms to be a
part of her general character.*

* See Vol. IV. Letter XXIII.

I can tell her, how she might behave, to make me her own for ever. She
knows she cannot fly me. She knows she must see me sooner or later; the
sooner the more gracious.--I would allow her to resent [not because the
liberties I took with her require resentment, were she not a CLARISSA;
but as it becomes her particular niceness to resent]: but would she show
more love than abhorrence of me in her resentment; would she seem, if it
were but to seem, to believe the fire no device, and all that followed
merely accidental; and descend, upon it, to tender expostulation, and
upbraiding for the advantage I would have taken of her surprise; and
would she, at last, be satisfied (as well she may) that it was attend