must lie upon it," she said. And then, instead of going down to the
house as she had promised, she wrote the following letter to Miss
Amedroz:--

The Cottage, Monday.

DEAREST CLARA,--I need not tell you that I write as I do
now with a bleeding heart. A few days since I should have
laughed at any woman who used such a phrase of herself,
and declared her to be an affected fool; but now I know
how true such a word may be. My heart is bleeding, and
I feel myself to be overcome by my disgrace. You told
me that I did not understand you yesterday. Of course I
understood you. Of course I know how it all is, and why
you spoke as you did of Captain Aylmer. He has chosen to
think that you could not know me without pollution, and
has determined that you must give up either me or him.
Though he has judged me I am not going to judge him. The
world is on his side; and, perhaps, he is right. He knows
nothing of my trials and difficulties,--and why should
he? I do not blame him for demanding that his future wife
shall not be intimate with a woman who is supposed to have
lost her fitness for the society of women.

At any rate, dearest, you must obey him,--and we will see
each other no more. I am quite sure that I should be very
wicked were I to allow you to injure your position in life
on my account. You at any rate love him, and would be
happy with him, and as you are engaged to him, you have no
just ground for resenting his interference.

You will understand me now as well as though I were to
fill sheets and sheets of paper with what I could say
on the subject. The simple fact is, that you and I must
forget each other, or simply remember one another as past
friends. You will know in a day or two what your plans
are. If you remain here, we will go away. If you go away,
we will remain here;--that is, if your cousin will keep
us as tenants. I do not of course know what you may have
written to Captain Aylmer since our interview up here,
but I beg that you will write to him now, and make him
understand that he need have no fears in respect of me.
You may send him this letter if you will. Oh, dear! if you
could know what I suffer as I write this.

I feel that I owe you an apology for harassing you on such
a subject at such a time; but I know that I ought not to
lose a day in telling you that you are to see no