diminished, her attractions
neglected by all the male sex in the neighbourhood, and the withering
hand of time hang threatening over her head, began to feel the horror of
eternal virginity, and, in a sort of desperation, resolved at any rate
to rescue herself from that reproachful and uncomfortable situation.

Thus determined, she formed a plan, the execution of which to a
spirit less enterprising and sufficient than hers, would have appeared
altogether impracticable: this was no other than to make a conquest of
the commodore's heart, which the reader will easily believe was not very
susceptible of tender impressions; but, on the contrary, fortified with
insensibility and prejudice against the charms of the whole sex, and
particularly prepossessed to the prejudice of that class distinguished
by the appellation of old maids, in which Mrs. Grizzle was by this time
unhappily ranked. She nevertheless took the field, and having invested
this seemingly impregnable fortress, began to break ground one day,
when Trunnion dined at her brother's, by springing certain ensnaring
commendations on the honesty and sincerity of sea-faring people,
paying a particular attention to his plate, and affecting a simper of
approbation at everything which he said, which by any means she could
construe into a joke, or with modesty be supposed to hear: nay, even
when he left decency on the left hand, which was often the case, she
ventured to reprimand his freedom of speech with a grin, saying, "Sure
you gentlemen belonging to the sea have such an odd way with you." But
all this complacency was so ineffectual, that, far from suspecting the
true cause of it, the commodore, that very evening, at the club, in
presence of her brother, with whom by this time he could take any manner
of freedom, did not scruple to d-- her for a squinting, block-faced,
chattering p-- kitchen; and immediately after drank "Despair to all old
maids." The toast Mr. Pickle pledged without the least hesitation, and
next day intimated to his sister, who bore the indignity with surprising
resignation, and did not therefore desist from her scheme, unpromising
as it seemed to be, until her attention was called off, and engaged
in another care, which for some time interrupted the progress of this
design.

Her sister had not been married many months, when she exhibited evident
symptoms of pregnancy, to the general satisfaction of all concerned, and
the inexpressible joy of Mrs. Griz