ces, and the admonitions of his associates,
that he swore his people had a design upon his life, which becoming a
burden to him, he at last complied, and was conducted to the scene like
a victim to the altar, or rather like a reluctant bear, when he is led
to the stake amidst the shouts and cries of butchers and their dogs.
After all, this victory was not quite so decisive as the conquerors
imagined; for the patient being set, and the performer prepared with
a pair of pincers, a small difficulty occurred: she could not for some
time discern one black hair on the whole superficies of Mr. Trunnion's
face, when Mrs. Grizzle, very much alarmed and disconcerted, had
recourse to a magnifying-glass that stood upon her toilet; and, after a
most accurate examination, discovered a fibre of a dusky hue, to which
the instrument being applied, Mrs. Pickle pulled it up by the roots, to
the no small discomposure of the owner, who, feeling the smart much more
severe than he had expected, started up, and swore he would not part
with another hair to save them all from damnation.

Mr. Hatchway exhorted him to patience and resignation; Mrs. Grizzle
repeated her entreaties with great humility; but finding him deaf to all
her prayers, and absolutely bent upon leaving the house, she clasped his
knees, and begged for the love of God that he would have compassion upon
a distressed family, and endure a little more for the sake of the poor
infant, who would otherwise be born with a gray beard upon its chin.
Far from being melted, he was rather exasperated by this reflection; to
which he replied with great indignation, "D-- you for a yaw-sighted b--!
I'll be hanged, long enough before he has any beard at all:" so saying,
he disengaged himself from her embraces, flung out at the door, and
halted homewards with such surprising speed, that the lieutenant could
not overtake him until he had arrived at his own gate; and Mrs.
Grizzle was so much affected with his escape, that her sister, in pure
compassion, desired she would not afflict herself, protesting that her
own wish was already gratified, for she had plucked three hairs at once,
having from the beginning been dubious of the commodore's patience.

But the labours of this assiduous kinswoman did not end with the
achievement of this adventure: her eloquence or industry was employed
without ceasing in the performance of other tasks imposed by the
ingenious craft of her sister-in-law, who at another