day for?
Do you know of anything he gets in the end that can pay him for the
trouble? I want to go back home,' says I. 'I don't care whether Cuba
sinks or swims, and I don't give a pipeful of rabbit tobacco whether
Queen Sophia Christina or Charlie Culberson rules these fairy isles;
and I don't want my name on any list except the list of survivors.
But I've noticed you, Sam,' says I, 'seeking the bubble notoriety in
the cannon's larynx a number of times. Now, what do you do it for? Is
it ambition, business, or some freckle-faced Phoebe at home that you
are heroing for?'

"'Well, Ben,' says Sam, kind of hefting his sword out from between
his knees, 'as your superior officer I could court-martial you for
attempted cowardice and desertion. But I won't. And I'll tell you
why I'm trying for promotion and the usual honors of war and conquest.
A major gets more pay than a captain, and I need the money.'

"'Correct for you!' says I. 'I can understand that. Your system of
fame-seeking is rooted in the deepest soil of patriotism. But I can't
comprehend,' says I, 'why Willie Robbins, whose folks at home are well
off, and who used to be as meek and undesirous of notice as a cat with
cream on his whiskers, should all at once develop into a warrior bold
with the most fire-eating kind of proclivities. And the girl in his
case seems to have been eliminated by marriage to another fellow. I
reckon,' says I, 'it's a plain case of just common ambition. He wants
his name, maybe, to go thundering down the coroners of time. It must
be that.'

"Well, without itemizing his deeds, Willie sure made good as a hero.
He simply spent most of his time on his knees begging our captain to
send him on forlorn hopes and dangerous scouting expeditions. In
every fight he was the first man to mix it at close quarters with the
Don Alfonsos. He got three or four bullets planted in various parts
of his autonomy. Once he went off with a detail of eight men and
captured a whole company of Spanish. He kept Captain Floyd busy
writing out recommendations of his bravery to send in to headquarters;
and he began to accumulate medals for all kinds of things--heroism
and target-shooting and valor and tactics and uninsubordination, and
all the little accomplishments that look good to the third assistant
secretaries of the War Department.

"Finally, Cap Floyd got promoted to be a major-general, or a knight
commander of the main herd, or something like that. He pounde