; but my request was refused. The
superior told me that I must deliberate and decide alone; and that when
once my decision was taken, there could be no change. So I remained at
the asylum, and dined at the superior's table; and during the night I
occupied the room of a sister who was absent. What surprised me most of
all was the deference with which I was treated. The sisters all seemed
to consider me a person of great importance. And yet I hesitated.

"My indecision may seem absurd and hypocritical; but it was really
sincere. My present situation was certainly by no means an enviable one.
But the worst was over; my term as an apprentice had nearly expired, and
my future seemed assured. My future! What could it be with the Count de
Chalusse? It was painted in such brilliant colors that it frightened me.
Why had the count chosen me in preference to any of the other girls? Was
it really chance which had decided him in his choice? On reflecting,
the miracle seemed to me to have been prepared in advance, and I fancied
that it must conceal some mystery. More than this, the thought of
yielding myself up to a stranger terrified me. Forty-eight hours had
been granted me to consider my decision, and till the very last instant
I remained in doubt. Who knows? Perhaps it would have been better for me
if I had returned to my humble life. At all events, I should have been
spared a great deal of sorrow and humiliation. But I lacked the courage;
and when the time expired, I consented to the new arrangement.

"Should I live a thousand years I shall never forget the day I left
the foundling asylum to become the Count de Chalusse's ward. It was
a Saturday, and I had given my answer to the superior on the evening
before. The next morning I received a visit from my former employers,
who, having been informed of the great change in my prospects, had come
to bid me good-bye. The cancelling of my apprenticeship had at first
caused some trouble, but eventually the count's gold silenced their
objections. Still, they were sorry to part with me, as I plainly saw.
Their eyes were moist with tears. They were sorry to lose the poor
little servant who had served them so faithfully. At the same time,
however, I noticed evident constraint in their manner. They no longer
said 'thee' and 'thou' to me; they no longer spoke roughly; but they
said 'you,' and addressed me as 'mademoiselle.' Poor people! they
awkwardly apologized for having ventured to accept