down, crept under the table, and putting beseeching small paws on
mother's knee, ate more buttered toast--came back to me and the
piano-stool, and bringing forth all her blandishments pleaded for a lump
of sugar. She knew it was wrong, she knew _I_ knew it was wrong, but,
good heavens! it was our house-warming--Bertie got the sugar. So we were
settled and happily ready to begin the new life in the great strange
city.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SECOND

I Recall Mr. John E. Owens, and How He "Settled my Hash."

Just previous to my coming East I met, for the first time, Mr. John E.
Owens. He was considered a wealthy man, and was at the height of his
popularity as a comedian. He was odd, even his marriage seemed an
expression of eccentricity, and one felt as if one had received a dash of
cold water in the face when the hot-tempered, peppery, and decidedly
worldly Mr. Owens presented the little orthodox Quakeress, with a
countenance of gentle severity, as his wife.

She wore the costume of her people, too, and watched him above her
knitting-needles with folded lips and condemning eye as he strutted and
fumed and convulsed his audience. She was said to be a most tender and
gentle nurse and, indeed, a devoted wife, but she certainly seemed to
look down upon theatrical life and people.

Mr. Owens was telling me she was a clever business woman, with a quick
eye for a good investment, when I jestingly answered: "That seems to be a
peculiarity of the sect--thee will recall the fact that William Penn
showed that same quality of eye in his beautiful and touching relations
with the shrewd and knowing Indians," and in the middle of his laugh, his
mouth shut suddenly, his eyes rolled: "Oh, Lord!" he said, "you've done
for yourself--she heard you, your fate's fixed!"

"But," I exclaimed, "I was just joking."

"No go!" he answered, mournfully, "the eye that can see the main chance
so clearly is blind to a joke. She has you down now on her list of the
ungodly. No use trying to explain--I gave that up years ago. Fact of the
matter is, when that Quakeress-wife of mine puts her foot down--I--well,
I take mine up, but hers stays right there."

Mr. Owens was of medium height and very brisk in all his movements,
walking with a short and quick little step. He had a wide mouth, good
teeth, and a funny pair of eyes. The eyeballs were very large and round,
and he showed an astonishing amount of their whites, which were of an
unusual brill