he answered coldly, turning away.

Crushed with disappointment Ignatius staggered from the room. He had
no thought for poetry now, but wandered feverishly about the streets,
searching for some mad excitement to stifle his despair. He played
billiards and _vingt-et-un_. He took to drugs and to drink. He even
had thoughts of standing for Parliament. But he soon found that the
sorrow, gnawing at his heart was one that politics could never
assuage nor alcohol drown, not at least at the present price of green
Chartreuse.

One day as he slouched miserably along the pavement he saw the
advertisement of a lecture outside the door of an institute. "The
Ideal in Philosophy and Art," said the placard; and, scarcely knowing
what he did, Ignatius went in. But the lecturer had barely begun to
expound his theme, which he did in the following forcible words:
"The categorical subjectivity of all intuitive apperceptions of the
ideal"--when a wild light flashed in the poet's eyes and he started
from his seat and rushed madly from the room. The lecturer wondered
mildly what had happened, but blinked and went on. What had happened
was that Ignatius Vavasour was pounding like a prize American trotter
to the nearest telephone box.

"Viviana," he cried an hour later, when he had got through, "you
remember what you said the day we met? Is it your real character that
I love? And I said 'No.'"

"Yes, Iggie," she said with a catch in her voice.

"Did you mean Rabbits, Eggs, Eggs, Lloyd, or Babbits, Eggs, Albatross,
Lloyd?"

"Albatross," she moaned.

"Well, it is. I mean, I do," he cried.

"Viviana, will you marry me?"

"Sure, Iggie," she answered softly. "Good-bye."

* * * * *

And now that I have written this story I am going to get it filmed.

EVOE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "OH, YUSS, THEY'RE VERY GRAND NOW. THEY DINE LATE AND
LOW."]

* * * * *

"Could we gather grapes from thorns or pigs from
thistles?"--_Report of Lecture delivered by the
Astronomer-Royal of Scotland._

As far as English thistles are concerned (we cannot speak for
Scotland) the answer is in the negative.

* * * * *

IMPORTUNITY.

When the club secretary first wrote and told me that it was proposed
to acquire two pictures (one Naval and one Military), which were
to hang in the club as worthy reminders of the Gre